#41 - Praise & Validation

Good morning! Lovin my morning. God is so good & what a blessing to fill a day with thankfulness!!! I am SOOOO thankful to be able to stay home and be a mom! I am so thankful to be able to do what I love every day! To be a mom, get in the Word without a "watch" tied to my time, to be a wife and make Tyler lunch... to go see my boy smile when we go in his room in the morning. BLESSED!! Thank you LORD!!! I'm SOOOO thankful! I'm thankful to be able to pursue my passion of writing, something I have always loved and am now able to do it. What are you thankful for? In the amplified version, Proverbs 27:22 ends with this, for a man is judged by what he praises and of what he boasts. Well, I PRAISE THE LORD for LIFE! I PRAISE THE LORD for the ability to breathe and the ability to PRAISE! I BOAST at how good my God is! I BOAST that HE is JEHOVAH JIRAH, HE is the Lord my Provider - not our business, not Tyler's job, not my books, but GOD IS OUR JEHOVAH JIRAH! I BOAST in that! He has all the money in the WORLD! He is a wealthy Dad and provides all my needs according to HIS riches, which are abundant! I BOAST that my God is JEHOVAH RAPHA! He is GOD MY HEALER! He has healed me of everything. My knee is healed in Jesus Name because of my JEHOVAH RAPHA! I walk in divine health! Tyler Jr walks in divine health! He doesn't need to be healed, because he doesn't get sick! What's better than being "healed"?? Never getting sick or hurt to begin with!!! DIVINE HEALTH! That is how we live! We walk in divine health! I boast in my Father for allowing us to do that! What a great day to PRAISE THE LORD! 


Well, let's get into some Word this morning! :) 

Proverbs 27:2 - Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips.

Proverbs 31:31 - Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates [of the city].

So... our verse in Proverbs 27 lines RIGHT up with what I have been reading in the book I'm about to finish, Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. It is most often a "guy" book, but I picked it up for several reasons. A friend of mine said it was one of her top 3 favorite books (she's the one who read between 50-75 books last year)... also, I know how much my husband liked it, and I have a boy now! I have a little guy who will grow up to be a little boy who will grow up to be a Godly Warrior for Christ. What a better way to learn about a boy, than to read about how God designed you MEN! To learn how you think! It has been very insightful! 


It reminds me of a few stories that relate to our verse for today. One which came from Wild at Heart. John tells of a time which he went rock climbing with his sons. His son, Sam, got to a rock and was unable to get over a ridge, he hung there and the longer he hung, the more scared he became. Then, the tears began to come. As John assured his boy, he said, he knew of a rock climb that may be more fun, they could go try that one instead. Sam said, "No, I want to do this one." As his dad coached him through some of the rough spots, verbally helping him to get to the top, as he was close to the top, his dad said something that would ring in his ears, "Way to go Sam. You're a wild man." The book goes on to talk about how boys need praise from their fathers. Boys need to hear validation from their dad. Especially as they are in their pivotal years, they need to hear that "they have what it takes," "they can be a man." Later, Sam came up to his dad and asked, "Dad, did you really think I was a wild man up there?" Sam came back looking for that validation from his dad, looking for that assurance, looking to hear that he had what it takes, looking for praise and assurance as he was being ushered into the years of change where he would go from boy to man. 


I remember Tyler telling me of being a boy, only in elementary school and playing in a football game. As maybe an 8 or 9 year old, he jumped into the truck with his dad after finishing his game, happy as a clam because they had a great victory, and Tyler had a touchdown. As he jumped in, he asked his dad, "Dad, did you see me? Did you see me run that touchdown? Dad, what did you think?" enthusiasm was bursting as little Tyler asked the question of his daddy. Looking for praise, looking for validation. His dad responded, "Son, I don't want to ever hear you say that again. We do not talk like that because it sounds like you are bragging and we do not brag." They road the remainder of the drive back home in silence. Tyler's balloon deflated. His face sullen. The one and only person he wanted to please, his dad, deflected his excitement and the joy of victory was now meaningless. 


I think both of these stories tell a lot about Proverbs 27:2. Let another praise you and not your own mouth. Someone else, and not your own lips. In the first story, the dad took the opportunity to praise his son when he saw he had a great opportunity. He saw a chance to build his son up, to encourage, to speak words into his life that would lift his self-image, that would help him to look at himself in the mirror in a positive light. He saw the opportunity to praise and he took the opportunity to praise. He is building up a man, not a girl, but a man. Helping him to see that he can do it, he has what it takes to "conquer the mountain." Not just the mountain that they were actually climbing, but any mountain. He was instilling a "you can do it" mentality in his boy. In the second story, Tyler was deflated. :( Though his dad taught him something very valid and important, something that even goes along with Proverbs 27:2. Let another praise you and not your own mouth. He was teaching Tyler the importance of not being boastful. Something that does indeed need to be taught. Although, he missed a valuable opportunity to praise him, to build him up, to let him know he is capable of anything. Now, if you know Tyler's dad, he is a big, grown teddy bear! He is an amazing man of God, a man that loves the Lord passionately, a man that would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. He is so full of love, all 6 feet 5 inches of him! He makes Tyler look little. Though this moment was a very memorable one for Tyler in the sense that he didn't receive the praise & validation he was craving, his dad did pour many good things into him throughout his childhood. Tyler's parents poured many good things into all the kids! One stat that is pretty astounding, how often do you hear of 3 kids, popular, attractive, fun, athletic ... 3 kids from the same family waiting until their wedding day to have "relations" for the first time!? That is a statistic that is very rare in this day and time. So, Tyler's parents poured a lot of good stuff into them as they grew up. 


Our Proverbs 31 friend... check her out... everyone enjoys praise, enjoys being elevated and encouraged. Well.... look at our Proverbs 31 friend, she is praised at the city gates. At the entrance of the city, people praise her. I can see it now... as you are driving into the city... there it is a billboard of our Proverbs 31 friend... her new invention, her new product that she has made, her philanthropic services she has created to help the needy. There at the city gates her "works" go before her and she is praised. But lets not forget a VERY valuable lesson.... one of the most common ones we have probably all heard; sowing and reaping. If you look up several verses in Proverbs 31, you can see that SHE has sown! Proverbs 31:18 - her lamp does not go out at night of trouble, sorrow, doubt, distrust - she is helping people at all hours of the night. Proverbs 31:20 - she opens her hands to the needy, she reaches out her FILLED hands to the needy (whether in body, mind or spirit). Proverbs 31:26 - on her tongue is the law of kindness. 


Our Proverbs 31 friend receives praise from others, but look what she has done first! SHE GIVES PRAISE! Just like if you sow corn, you reap corn. She has sown praise, and now she is reaping praise! 


Today, find someone you can praise. Is it your child? Your spouse? Praise them. Notice the good things they are doing. Is it your son? He needs validation, especially as he is young, and even as he gets older. Something a boy desires more than anything is to know that his dad is proud of him. To know that his dad loves him, but most importantly to know his dad respects him for what he is doing. Sons of all ages crave this validation. And, I believe daughters do too. They want to hear that they are "doing good", "making a difference." Find someone to praise today. The person at the drive-through window. You may be the first person to praise them ALL month! They may not get it from parents, co-workers, or anyone. Your praise may keep them going. Tell them they are doing a great job. Tell them you appreciate them. Or even you like their hair or smile. Find something to praise!


Praise & Validation. This is one way to grow up confident, godly men and women of Christ. 

 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:29

#25 - "Yes Mam" - "No Sir"

Good morning! It is a beautiful morning here in SC. Enjoying my 2nd cup of coffee.... had my "first breakfast".... or "mini breakfast" already, some applesauce. Will probably have some cereal in a little bit. So, this morning... I'm just reminded of the fact that, "I don't have to figure it out." I was going back and forth with the Holy Spirit on some things, specifically which direction to go, what verses to focus on this morning.... and I partly was feeling a sense of "pressure". Sometimes I don't "feel like" going the direction that the Holy Spirit wants to go. I may think that direction is "boring" or that everyone already knows "that". So, as I was reading and meditating.... I just didn't feel a leading one way... yes I saw many options of how we could go this morning. But I just didn't feel strongly about which way to go. And, it was just a little pressure or the word "manufacturing" comes to mind. I never want to "manufacture" anything, my desire is that each morning, these devotions are Holy Spirit led. So... what did the Holy Spirit say.... can we say "Booo-Yah!" to me! He said, "So Amy, whose are these devotions anyways? Are they yours or Mine?" Yah..... booo-yah! He sure does have a way of letting Himself be known. So yes..... what did I say? (*Tail between legs) "They are Yours." - "Ok then, let me determine the direction. I can promise, My Word is not and will not be boring. I have aligned it specifically for the people who need to hear it. So though the topic may seem like something you have known for a long time, their are people who need to hear it." Alrighty then.... enough said. We are going with the topic of the Holy Spirit not topic from Amy!! And that is the way I like to keep it! 

Proverbs 29:15,17 - The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left undisciplined brings his mother to shame. Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your heart.

Proverbs 31:27a - She looks well to how things go in her household...

Well, you are talking to a girl who grew up getting her fair share of spankings! "Whippin's" as they would say in the south. I guess in the south they also call them "Beatin's". "Girl, did you get a beatin?!" Well, I got some "beatin's" growing up! My parents were not afraid to get out the belt and show me who was boss if I did not behave. I was a very, very stubborn child growing up. I left MANY scars on my sisters.... especially my older sister, Angie. She still has a pretty big one on her leg from me scratching her. She was on the piano, and I wanted to play it.... since she wouldn't get off, I was going to MAKE HER get off! Blood, crying & probably a spanking later..... she did get off the piano, but I'm sure I didn't get to play it. 


Just because we are in the 21st century, does not mean we have to cave to how the "world" handles discipline now adays. Over and over the Bible talks about spanking your child. Aside from the scriptures listed above you can see many places in Proverbs that talks about disciplining your children... Proverbs 19:18 - ...discipline your son while their is still hope. Proverbs 13:24 - He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines diligently and punishes him early. Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it. And the list goes on... rod of discipline, rod of discipline, rod of discipline. So in other words, "Mom, Dad, pull out the belt, get out the spoon, go cut down a switch and SPANK that child!" 


I am not a fan of the "Time-Out" aspect of discipline. It just seems like today's "New-Age" way of disciplining a child... it just seems like the "World's" spin on how to discipline your child. It reminds me of the child that took his/her parents to court. I would guess that child did not get spankings, they probably had "time-outs". For a child to think they have a RIGHT to second guess, or question, or to the extent of taking their mom & dad to court... the parents OBVIOUSLY missed the whole idea of discipline. Who is boss in our house? Dad. Who is next in line? Mom! And you better guaranty that I will not hesitate to give spankings, and they will hurt. 


I remember my mom spanking me.... she felt so bad. The belt left marks on my little booty and on my legs. But I was SUCH a stubborn child. My mom just had to believe, "Lord Jesus, I pray that this stubbornness will be turned for good in Amy's life. I pray that she will be stubborn after You!" Bless her heart! And, when I got saved, my stubbornness did pay off. I'm still stubborn, just in different ways. A godly stubbornness can bring success. And to be a success, you almost HAVE TO be stubborn! 


Well, our Proverbs 31 friend was not afraid to keep her household in line. I can hear her now, "Little Johnny, I told you no once, you know that is not allowed. Go, cut down a switch from the tree out back, you are going to get a whippin." I guaranty she did not threaten little Johnny with a "Time-Out". And, in Proverbs 31:27, it says SHE looks well to how things go in her household. SHE did! If her husband was on a trip, or in the field (aka: at work), it says SHE looked well to how things go in her household. She did not wait for "Dad" to get home to spank  little Johnny. It said SHE managed the runnings of the household. So, if you were bad, you better bet MAMA is putting the smack down! :-) Literally!


I believe, that was one reason why the children could rise up and call their mother blessed (Proverbs 31:28). They respected their mother because she disciplined them. She taught them obedience. She expected well-behaved children, and their was no other option but for the children to BE well-behaved! 


In the South.... that comes directly along with hearing the well-behaved, good children saying, "Yes Mam." "No Mam." "Yes Sir." "No Sir." It is expected. At least for the children where their parents PARENT them. Even in the south, some parents allow TV, DS games, and school to parent and raise their children. But, still a large majority are teaching manners. When I moved to the south, it was so sweet to hear a child say "Yes Mam" to me. I LOVED it! So sweet. So proper. My children will DEFINITELY do that. It's kind of an unfair advantage to my sisters in Indiana. My children will come home for Christmas saying "Yes Mam/Yes Sir" and "No Mam/No Sir" to all the adults and seem very polite. But I realize in the North... that is not how it is done! 


But manners.... it goes along with the responsibility of parenting. Do your children chew with their mouth open at the table? Do they use language that is not acceptable? Do they answer YOU, mom or dad, in a rude manner? If the answer is Yes. It is YOUR responsibility for them to do it properly. No one else is going to teach YOUR kids! Tyler and I have talked about some of the things he plans on teaching Tyler Jr (and Timothy when he comes along) when they are old enough. Tyler plans on having "Daddy-Day-Out" to teach Tyler Junior some important tips on manners. For example.... going to a Chick-Fil-A (my husbands favorite fast food place), and just having Tyler Junior scope out when a lady is coming to the door, going out of the way and saying, "Let me get the door for you mam." Imagine a 5 year old doing that! So cute! But, so proper & respectful! Tyler feels strongly about it because his Granddaddy taught him to do things like that. It is proper, it is respectful and it is right. School will not teach those principles. It is up to the Mom's and Dad's to take time, to plan time, set time aside to discipline when needed and to teach manners. 


The children are part of the "household", in Proverbs 31:27.... so Mom's... see that your "household" is running smoothly. Including your children. It does start with you. Do you respond in kindness? Do you eat with your mouth open at the table? Or do you "chomp" your gum? Do you tell people to "shut up"? It all starts with you. Are you setting the example that you want your kids to follow? They WILL do what you do. Like the old "LIFE" cereal commercial.... the little boy just doing everything his dad was doing. Or... when I was teaching school, I gave a girl a detention for cussing. Later her mom called me upset about the detention... and do you know what the MOM did? She cussed me out on the phone. Well.... I then could not completely blame the student. She learned from her mom. Kids will take on your positive attributes, or they will take on your negative attributes. 


What kind of kids are you raising? Are you purposefully teaching them? In their manners? In their speech? In their actions? In their behavior? 


Moms - YOU see how things are going in your household. Are things going WELL?
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DO you have any stories about you? Or about your kids? DO share them! :-) Do you agree? Disagree? Share that too!