#227 - Laying the Foundation for Godly Children

Proverbs 31:1-2a - THE WORDS of Lemuel king of Massa, which his mother taught him... What, son of my womb? What [shall I advise you] son of my vows and dedication to God?

Proverbs 31:28 - Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying]...

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Here in Proverbs 31, we could almost ask the same question because we are truly going a full circle with this Ultimate Woman of God. As we take a look at where the teaching of the "Virtuous Woman" really came from, we see in Proverbs 31 verse 1, the teaching is coming from King Lemuel's mother. She is ultimately teaching him basic godly principles. Early on in the chapter 31, she teaches him to not drink wine lest it pervert his judgement, speak for those who are not able to speak for themselves, judge righteously over the poor and needy, and then she wraps up the entire remainder of chapter 31 with qualities and characteristics of a godly woman, who we refer to as the Proverbs 31 Woman or Ultimate Woman. King Lemuel's mother is responsible for laying the foundation of what he should desire in a wife.

The Ultimate Woman does TWO things:

1. Mother's TEACH Who the Proverbs 31 Woman is. 
2. Mother's MODEL Who the Proverbs 31 Woman is. 

As we begin in Proverbs 31:1, we see firsthand how this King is learning what to look for in a wife, his mother taught him. His MOTHER taught him what to look for. His MOTHER is "advising" him as to the godly characteristics that will help him to accomplish God's calling on his life. This mother has vowed and dedicated her son to God. She has committed him to God. Now her desire is to raise him up to find his ULTIMATE COMPLETER. She knows his flaws, his weaknesses, his pitfalls. She knows those very areas in his life where she has had to provide assistance, maybe a crutch for him. Maybe support, encouragement, maybe some polishing up details of a project he has started but not completed. Mom knows just what qualities her son needs in his life to complete him VERSUS compete with him, in order for him to accomplish the great calling God has on his life.

I wish we knew a bit more background on this "King Lemuel," but he is an unknown king, and his background is a mystery. They Hebrew says he may be the same as King Solomon, but it is unknown. Knowing the background of kings in the Bible, we can look back to II Chronicles 24:1 and see that Joash began a 40 year reign as king beginning at age SEVEN!! He began as King at age 7!! Wow! Quite an early age to be running a nation! Do kids these days even tie their shoes at that age? Have they graduated from velcro to actual laces? I'm being a bit facetious here, but in all reality, most parents barely let their children play outside after dark when they are age 7, and here we have a 7 year old running a NATION! 

So... the question is... Mom's when is it too young to begin teaching your boys the qualities that are important in a wife? Mom's when is it too young to begin teaching your daughters the qualities they should aspire to attain as a godly woman/girl? In the case of King Lemuel, he could be 7, we do not know. But teaching our children from an early age is something that is a responsibility of mother's. 

I would anticipate that King Lemuel's mother isn't speaking from a hypocritical platform. I would anticipate, the characteristics she is teaching, she also models. At least, aspires to model most if not all of them. If we could go back and watch her, I bet we would see her raising up her girls to learn these qualities. One, through them watching her live out the qualities. Two, through teaching them hands-on to hone in on these qualities as well. As for her sons, as we can see in Proverbs 31, she is verbally instructing her son what to look for. She is steering her son towards the women of God he should be looking for in a wife. She is warning him to steer clear of the "loose woman" that may tempt him along the way (Prov. 31:3), she is addressing even the tough topics. She does not blindly let him just fall into the hands of the wolves (the loose woman). She is guiding him. 

Are you a Mom? If so, how can you begin today to lay a foundation for your children? Are you doing this already? What are some tips you may have to steer children in this way? Please share!

#34 - How to NOT Leave People Crushed & Shattered

Good morning! I have been overcoming some computer issues this morning. I think the last straw has occurred. I have had some money set aside to get a new, small laptop.... it may very well be the time. I have recently been fine-tuning my schedule.... not just having a "TO-DO" list, but scheduling the times for the things I need to accomplish in a day. I really believe it is going to help me accomplish more and be more aware of "where" my time is going during the day. (And, when the computer is having a "mind of it's own" for 45 minutes... hum.... it definitely is breaking in to my schedule!)

Anyways.... this morning is a topic we have discussed in form before. But Proverbs 15 talked about this topic 13 times.... 13 times, just in Proverbs 15, SO I figured if GOD repeats Himself, it may be good that we review this topic again too! :)

Proverbs 15:4 (AMP)- A gentle tongue [with its healing power] is a tree of life, but willful contrariness in it breaks down the spirit.

Proverbs 15:4 (KJV) - A wholesome tongue [is] a tree of life: but perverseness therein [is] a breach in the spirit.

Proverbs 31:26 - She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction].

Within the last week, light has been brought to both of these verses..... light in the good and light in the bad.

Two stories...
Story #1 - Tyler and I were traveling back from the leadership conference we attended (the "boy" was with grandma and grandpa). We stopped at a rest stop to go to the bathroom.... I got back to the vehicle before Tyler, so since I didn't have keys I ended up standing outside the vehicle for maybe 5 minutes. As I stood there, I witnessed some of South Carolina's finest. :) Ok... I'm being fecisious on that one! I was standing there, and watched a mini-van pull up, 2 small children, a little girl, no older than 18 months, and a little boy, maybe 2 years old get out, along with another boy and 4 adults (that's 7 people)! As the little girl in her pajama's gets out of the car, her mom gets out, lights up a cigarette and proceeds to begin yelling at the child. As they are walking to go to the bathroom, the mom continues to yell about something... short shorts, tank top, thin frame, and puffing on her cigarette. As they were walking back from the bathroom, I heard her yelling more and threatening to leave the child there at the rest stop. "I don't think you would like that! You better get your butt up here and hurry up!" The yelling continued. The smoking continued. Mom #2 with the little 2 year old boy...same scenerio. Short shorts, T-shirt, heavy frame, and yes.... gets out of the car, and lights up her cigarette. As she begins puffing on her cigarette, the 2 year old runs around the rest stop, full diaper & t-shirt on, cute as a button, but being yelled at the whole time.

Story #2 - Tyler was at the Christian bookstore the other day and saw some friends of ours. He relayed a story that was quite revealing. Our friend had her 2 sons with her.... her one son, Cage is about 18 months. As she was talking to Tyler, she noticed Cage was reaching out his hand to get something off the shelf.... as my husband told me the story he said, all she did was in a soft, but firm voice say, "Cage, don't touch that." With not a whine, cry, or sound at all, Cage quietly brought his hand back to his side and did not touch what was on the shelf. Wow. What a distinct difference.  

Breach in the spirit... wow... this one almost hurt my heart to read how negatively someone's speech can hurt others. The opposite of breach we see in the beginning of Proverbs 15:4... a gentle tongue. Check out some of the Hebrew definititions for the word "breach": crushing, fracture, crash, shattering, ruin, breaking of a dream.

Our Proverbs 31 friend opens her mouth in kindness. She is giving counsel and instruction. It does not say she yells, shouts & threats. She is opening her mouth in kindness. She is not sharp, she is not abrasive. She is firm, but her firmness has its base in love. A gentle tongue. Gentle is soft. Gentle is not loud on the ears. Gentle does not hurt ones feelings. Gentle is not cutting. In story #2, Cage did not need to be threatened or yelled at... his parents obviously set boundries and have set standards that have yielded obedient children.

As I watched the smoking mom's with their children at the rest stop... I'm not quite sure if my mouth was hanging agape. It may have been. I was truly awe-struck. Struck at how they spoke to those children.... it practically hurt my feelings and they weren't even talking to me, let alone how it made the children feel. And then, if the mom's were willing to be that abrasive in PUBLIC, how are they at home? It made me just wonder what the future held for those children. With the programming that was being set in place by how they were talked to.... what would they grow up to be like? Breach in the spirit. Breaking of a dream. I doubt they will grow up with the mentality of "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." "I am MORE than a conqueror in Christ Jesus!" "I am the head and not the tail! Above and not beneath!" "I am a winner!" "I am a CHAMPION!" I believe it is people like Cage, who will grow up to do GREAT and MIGHTY things because he has great and mighty parents! He has parents that are not putting things inside him that will "break his dreams." His spirit isn't being shattered or crushed because of the way his parents speak to him. He is being lifted up. Good things are being instilled in him. Mom & dad are putting GOOD things in themselves, and what comes in, goes out. Cage's mom read between 50-75 books last year! She didn't remember.... but MOST people don't even read the "dash". She read so many books that she couldn't remember. Not novels. Not romance trash. Good, solid, awesome books. She has poured good stuff in, and good stuff pours out onto her kids. She has not put "mindless" things into her mind from spending hours each evening watching TV.... but she is developing herself, and growing up GODLY warriors. She has taken herself and her responsibility as a mom, her responsibility as a wife, her responsibility as a business owner with seriousness.

A gentle tongue. Sure the stories have to do with kids. But... imagine the same thing with your spouse. Wives do this all the time to their husbands. They emasculate them.... deprive them of strength, vigor... with their words they weaken them. They break their dreams. And doing all this with one small part of our body. The Tongue. What power.

One of the biggest lies I have ever heard is this: "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Lie. Lie. Lie. Words can determine the path of your future. Positive words can spark dreams inside of you. Positive words can allow your child to grow up to be the doctor they talk about now. Encouraging words, can motivate your husband to venture out on his own with his own business. Loving words can keep your children from straying into sex and impurities as they hit their teenage years. WORDS. Words are some of the most altering, life changing things we have available to us! ONE CHAPTER in the Bible... today's chapter Proverbs 15 talked about their importance THIRTEEN times! Now, tell me words are not important?!

Edit. Monitor. Check. Change. What ARE the words coming out of your mouth? Is the tone you are speaking one of the mother in story #2? Gentle but firm. She got her point across, all the while not crushing the spirit of her child. Can you believe that words can CRUSH A SPIRIT?! WORDS!

Today, determine you are going to monitor what you say. Determine that you are going to watch the words that come out of your mouth. Your words & the tone. Don't do like the mom's in story #1. Don't crush the spirit of your spouse. Your kids. Your friends. Your family. I avoid people like that. I see them, and walk the other way. A critical spirit does not "Win Friends and Influence People." Today, determine that you are going to speak words of LIFE into your children. LIFE into your husband.

May your words be what motivates and raises up others, that your words instill belief into the lives of those who you come in contact with. When people leave you they feel inspired, lifted up, motivated... that they feel like they can do anything! That your encouragement changed things! Changes lives! Gives people hope. Gives people a dream. That your encouragement would help people accomplish the "impossible", invent the outrageous, live lives of victory. All of that with one thing..... with your words. Change things today. Change your words.

#17 - Is there a Light in your Eyes?

Well... it has been a fun morning. lol. So far, I have killed 4 fruit flies & 2 flies. One fly died via "coffee overdose". :) As my grandpa would say, "Oh, he won't drink much." You've got to admit... it's pretty exciting when you go to take a drink of your coffee and as you are bringing the mug to your mouth, you see a fly floating in it. Yes, gross! I was joking with Tyler and I said if I had a pest control company this would be my slogan: "Amy's Pest Control: Sending your bugs to meet Jesus!" :) lol! Whenever I kill bugs in my house, I just tell them, "I'm sending you to be with Jesus." It always makes me laugh just to say it, so maybe it will help them in their last moments. I will say that I have been warning them. I tell them if they want to live, they need to get by the door and fly out when it opens. Ha!

Anyways... that has been my morning thus far. :) SO excited for my DOR (Day of Rest) tomorrow!! YIPPEE!! YEAH!! :) I've been feeling a bit sluggish, I can tell I need a day to be rejuvenated. Tyler challenged me....he asked me if "writing a blogpost" was "resting" on my DOR. I defensively told him the reasons why it "could" still be resting... so, with that said, I may or may not post something tomorrow. I suppose if it feels like "work", then I will just chill, but if something is just JUMPING off my fingertips, then I may post something. 

Todays verses....

Proverbs 15:30 - The light in the eyes [of him whose heart is joyful] rejoices the hearts of others, and good news nourishes the bones.

Proverbs 31:28 - Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her...

Proverbs 15 was loaded with some jam-up scripture this morning! It was almost hard to get around "the mouth", "the tongue", "the lips", "words".... I definitely think that all the repetition isn't there for no reason. Just a reminder how very IMPORTANT it is that we are guarding our lips & words. 

Proverbs 15:30 stood out to me this morning. It just made me think about the light in the eyes of people. Have you noticed it? Can you think of people that when they walk into a room, it's like they have a twinkle in their eyes, it draws you to them, you just want to be around them. Can you think of people like that? You walk into a room, you see them, and you just gravitate to them. You think, "Oooh. I want to go talk to them. They always make me feel good to be around them." I was thinking about one of my friends who I go to church with, and that is how I feel when I am around her. You know the kind of person that you just click with. They always seem to be upbeat, they are like-minded and almost all the time they have a twinkle in their eye. They are filled with the joy of the Lord. I thought of my friend, and her husband is the same for my husband. They laugh about it, but they call each other "brother from another mother", or he calls my husband an "undercover brother." They are kindred spirits with us. We believe the same, we're both goal oriented, we both know how good our God is, we both love the Lord & love learning what he has to teach us. They are indeed our brother & sister in the Lord. Can you think of someone like that... when they walk in, they just have that sparkle? 

On the flip side...do you also know those people who are NOT walking in with light in their eyes. Yes, they may be Christians... but when they walk in the room, you quickly find a reason to exit. "Uh...yah, I gotta go to the bathroom." And you dip out because you just don't want to be around them. They bring you down. They are the people who if they said they have had a good day, or are having a good day, you want to respond with, "Notify your face." They are not bad people. But, just being around them your spirits are not lifted. Can you think of someone like that? 

That brings us to our Proverbs 31 woman....her children rise up and call her blessed. Who knows that you can't make a CHILD say good things about you if they are not true??! Children have this innocence about them... this truthfulness. Our Proverbs 31 woman is getting the praises of her children! I can just see it.... their mama walks in the room and she has that twinkle in her eye. Yes, she has accomplished a lot that day, but she still has the twinkle, the sparkle, the glitter. Just by the way they look at her, you can tell they adore her. She laughs with them, she loves on them, she kisses them, tickles them and even prepares for them their favorite cookies & lets them lick the bowl clean. :) Our Proverbs 31 friend is not living a lie, she just lives with light in her eyes. She doesn't jump down their throat. When they spill something, if she needs to be firm, she is... but most of the time she realizes that plain & simple, it was an accident and adults spill things too on accident. Who purposefully spills anything? Her attitude is, "No big deal, let me just grab a rag real quick and clean it up." Because of her child messing up, she doesn't make them feel terrible, they are not looking down about ready to cry because mom made them feel terrible. They are not running off to their room in tears because of the harsh words mom said. She may ask them to please be more careful, but her eyes are still full of love. Because of the love, because of the twinkle, her children ARE more careful next time. 

What about her husband? What about the Proverbs 31 husband? What is his response to her? He openly boasts of and praises her. He notices all she does. He takes note of who she is, what she accomplishes, how she treats the children, employees, the needy. He takes note of ALL that she does, he takes not of WHO she is.... he sees the twinkle in her eyes. She not only has it with her children, but she has it with her husband too. When she walks in the room, HE sees the light in her eyes. She is an encouragement to him. She lights up the room. She makes him feel good, feel better about himself. She thanks him for providing. She thanks him for what he did that day. She tells him how handsome he is, how cute he is. She loves on him, she adores him. Her eyes light up when she sees him. She loves him. Like a newly wed, he still has her heart. And the light even fills her eyes more when her husband brags on her. He tells of all she accomplished. He boasts of her. He praises her. It is not being prideful to brag on your spouse. To tell others of how blessed you are. Because of him boasting and praising her, deep down, her desire is to even do more, to even be better, to continue on this pathway of improvement, accomplishment, success. 

What does all this do for me? It makes me think about.... which woman am I? Am I the one people avoid because of my negativity? Or am I the woman that people are drawn too? Am I an encourager? A joy to be around? Have I been notifying my face when I am out. Granted, I don't have to be "overly happy" around people that it is annoying to them... I don't have to jump in the room bouncing & going overboard on, "HEY, Look at ME! I am HAPPY!" But, I can even have the quiet joy, the glow, the sparkle. The sparkle that shows even without words. The sparkle that shows a light in my eye.

When I think of my friend who is such a joy to be around... I know that part of it is because of her relationship with the Lord. She is full. She has found fulfillment in Him. She has spent time seeking Him out, finding Him, knowing Him. 

My desire for you is that you would find the light in your eye. That as your relationship with the Lord gets stronger and grows deeper, that you would YEARN even more for the Lord. That you would YEARN for that stronger relationship with Him. That you would YEARN to know your Father more, to talk with him, to fellowship, to love Him even more. That the light in your eyes would be an automatic result from your YEARN.

Close your eyes.... listen to the words..... enjoy this video: YEARN

#9 - Your Legacy

Buenos dias! It is a beautiful morning here in South Carolina. The sun is out, the sky is blue & whispy clouds are scattered about. I'm sitting on my back porch enjoying the warm air... a green lizard is traveling down our white drain pipe, birds are chirping...in the distance I hear a lawn mower, my 2nd cup of coffee is luke warm AND I have an egg & cheese sitting on an english muffin just waiting for me to enjoy it! I had my 1st breakfast with my 1st cup of coffee! :) A banana. :) So yes... this is a bit early for me to be up... earlier than normal anyways. I woke up at 6:00 this morning!!! Unfortunately not by complete choice... if their are any mom's out their who have nursed... you will appreciate that sometimes the body calls you to get up!!! 13 ounces of liquid gold later, I was wide awake and figured I might as well stay up. :) I have had a very enjoyable morning so far! Before even getting into my quiet time, the Holy Spirit & I had some very good dialog about some cool things that are happening in my life, and that are coming up in the future. Super excited about that! 


But, let's cut to the chase and go ahead and jump in the Word...

Proverbs 4:11 - I have taught you in the way of skillful and godly Wisdom [which is comprehensive insight into the ways and purposes of God]; I have led you in paths of uprightness.

Proverbs 31:28 - Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her...

Let the stage be set earlier in Proverbs 4, verse 3 & 4 when it let's us know who is really talking here... "When I [Solomon] was a son with my father [David]...He taught me & said..."
When we fast forward to verse 11, it begins with "I". A father is talking to his son, telling him "I" have taught you in the way of skillful & godly Wisdom, I have led you in the paths of uprightness. I. I, the parents, the father, the man of God, the head of the house, I. "I, David, your Father. I have taught you comprehensive insight into the VERY ways & purposes of God." 
We know David as being "a man after God's own heart". Granted...David had his pitfalls. He had everything at his fingertips, wealth, fame, women, a decorated war hero & leader, in 1 Sam 18: 7 people even danced and sang about him saying: "Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands." So, among a nation, he was even exalted above that of the King! Though, even the mighty can stumble as we recall David's big fall. One day his eyes gazed upon a woman bathing naked. Not only did he NOT look away, but he had his servants bring her to him, he slept with her, he had her husband murdered & took her as his wife. So, wow! Even "a man after God's own heart" is known also for his BIG FALL!


That should actually bring us hope and encourage us. In my talk with the Holy Spirit before diving into the Word I was brought back to a lot of "skeletons in my closet".... things NO ONE knows about. Things that I am ashamed of, things that I have done or thought and would love to just hide them in a locked safe & throw away the key. One after another, these things began to stream into my head...some that I have not thought about for over 10 years. But the Holy Spirit told me, that even those things would be used to bring Him glory. Even the ugly truth, the "dirties" would be used to glorify our King. 


Well, then we come to read about a father teaching his Son.... the lessons left on from a godly man David, to his son Solomon. That a fathers teachings can be a legacy. A mother's teaching, can be a legacy. Proverbs 31:28, we read how our friend's children RISE UP and call their mother BLESSED! They RISE UP and praise her. We know that this Proverbs 31 woman & mother has poured into her children spiritual truths over their lifetime (31:15). She has led & guided them. She has been up with them in their dark hours (31:18). She has left a legacy. 


I began to think about my own parents. Like David, probably all parents have some sort of "skeletons in their closet." We all probably know our parents more than anyone... we know their faults, their weaknesses, even may know of some skeletons in their closets. But like David, our parents may just also be the people who are known to be "a man or woman after God's own heart." So, I want to leave you with just a few of the "Legacy Leavers" of my parents. 

My Mom - The Legacy of Diligence: 

Since I can remember it, my mom has always been a woman of God. I remember seeing her at night, in her bed reading her Bible. I remember seeing her up in the morning, sitting out at the gazebo by the pool in the Word, reading her Bible. I remember my mom, during my darkest times, praying for me. Praying me back to a life as a follower of Christ, praying me off the road that led to desperation. Praying me to a pure, holy & full life in Christ. I remember watching my mom as my brother or sisters strayed, and she did for them as she did for me. She prayed them back. My mom has left a legacy of diligence. The gifts, talents and abilities that my siblings and I have, is largely because my mom prayed us back. To have a brother as a Hollywood model & actor, but due to my mom praying for him too, he is simultaneously serving the Lord in such a dark industry. There are so many stories of my mom, but I believe her greatest Legacy is the Legacy of Diligence to Pray us Back. 

My Dad - The Legacy of Giving: 

From childhood until now, I remember my dad as a great giver. Every way he knows how, from every joint and sinew in his body, he is a giver. With four kids, all active in sports, I recall my dad giving his last dime to us. We would need new running shoes....our old ones really weren't that bad, but it was a new season so that meant of course, "I, I, I, me, me, me, Dad, I need new running shoes." My dad gave his last dime, probably often where their wasn't a dime to be had, he gave his last dime to us. I remember looking at my dad's running shoes. He never complained, never even said a word, but while we had the newest and best, his running shoes had holes in the sides and were scantily being held together. My dad also gave peace. He was a man of few words, but great wisdom. There was peace knowing how much my dad knew! He was a studier of the Word. He was the smartest man I knew. Greek & Hebrew, you name a scripture in the Bible, he could tell you where it was. He could tell you the history. He was the leader of our house, and that brought me peace. He left a legacy of giving. He studied, went to college, graduated with a 4.0, while having 4 children, a wife & a full time job. The man is brilliant! He entered a field because it offered the greatest financial returns for a man raising 4 children. His dream has always been to be a teacher. But, during a time that he needed, he gave that up.... hopefully just temporarily. My prayer is that one day, my dad will be a teacher. Our generation needs such a passionate, wise man as my father. He has left a Legacy of Giving.

So, what will your legacy be? Have you thought about it?

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Thank you!!! God Bless. :)

Xoxo,
Amy J