#230 - What NOT to say!

Proverbs 12:18 - There are those who speak rashly, like the piercing of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 31:26 - She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction].

Have you ever had someone tell you something that you were simply shocked to hear? Have you ever thought, "Did you really just say that out-loud? Are you serious?" Well, today is probably going to be a bit more of a lighter post, but I wanted to share some of those comments of "what NOT to say!"

Today, I am officially "Full-Term" in my pregnancy with Trinity Faith, so she could technically come any time now. Being pregnant, over the last several months as Trin has grown, it has been quite an interesting journey of WHAT people will say to a pregnant lady! Some people COMPLETE strangers, some friends, some family, some women, some men, some other pregnant women, some fellow church goers.... ALL of these are people who have made a comment to me (or other pregnant friends of mine) that have been completely shocking! It has provided for almost daily, interesting conversation at home! I have a several good friends and we are all due within a few days/weeks of each other. We frequently will text back and forth the funny, yet shocking things we heard in the grocery store or some other random place. People are funny!

SO... save yourself from being the conversation piece at the someone else's dinner table.... here are some tips....

WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A PREGNANT WOMAN

• (Our pool attendant, a rather BIG fellow, said this to another pregnant woman) - "Wow! You look like SHAMU! Aren't you due to have that baby?"
• (Said from another PREGNANT woman!!) - "Wow _________, you look like you are about to POP!" 
• "Are you having twins?" 
• "Are you SURE you're not having twins?!" 
• "You must be due ANY time now!"
• (Said from a family member!) "Yah, we're just not like those skinny, cute, pregnant people that look like they are carrying a basketball. We just carry differently."
• (Said from another female.) "You look way overdue! When is this baby coming?"
• (Said from a woman to a friend who was pregnant.) "You just look like you are a lot further along than you are."
• "You look so tired. You must be ready to have that baby!"

As I read over the comments that have been said to me or one of my 5-6 pregnant friends... I'm just amazed that people will say some things OUT-LOUD! And WOMEN at that!?!? The pregnant woman receiving the comment is most likely thinking, "Really? So you are saying that I look fat. I'm already feeling tired, heavy, sore from carrying this 20-30 pound bowling ball on my stomach 24/7, I'm trying to be able to breathe because this baby is squishing my lungs, I haven't slept great the last several nights... and now you are going to TELL Me that's how I look?! Thanks! It just made my day!" 

WHAT IS OK?

• If in doubt, don't say ANYTHING at all!
• "Wow you look so cute!"
• "You look like you are ALL baby!"
• "From behind, I couldn't even tell you were pregnant. You look super cute!"
• "Mam, you don't look like you are having twins!" (My husband told this to a woman on Saturday as he overheard the man in front of him say to her, "Wow! You look like you are having twins!")

So.... take notes from the Proverbs 31 woman. Open your mouth in skillful & godly wisdom, on your tongue, speak the law of Kindness! Even just the common practice of "Thinking Before Speaking." Not JUST to pregnant women, but to anyone. How is your comment going to sound coming out? Is it going to encourage, uplift & build up (Eph 4:29)? How would you feel if someone said the same thing to you? 

Just some food for thought this morning. Sure.... it's kind of funny stuff, but hopefully good to hear! A thought to leave you with..... Think Before Speaking! :) 

Have a blessed day!

 

#182 - Central Focus

Original Post 5/12/11

________________________

Good morning! Wherever you are at this morning, do you realize that the mercy, grace & forgiveness of God reaches even to you? Whatever "state" you are in... happy, frustrated, stressed, rushed, peaceful, discouraged, disappointed, dragging, holding on. I encourage you, continue to hold on. Continue to stand. Mercy awaits you. Grace makes you anew. Forgiveness cleanses you to white as snow. The grace of God still amazes me. Continue to hold on, good things are coming, good things are on YOUR horizon! It won't always be this hard. It won't always take this long. Continue on this journey, you will look back in awe of the mighty things God has done and as you sit in your Promised Land you will truly look up to heaven and thank your Father. Hindsight will be 20/20. You will see why you were in this place. Keep going. Press in. Hold on. Your victory is coming!

Let's get into the Word.

Proverbs 12:3b - ...but the root of the [uncompromisingly] righteous shall never be moved.

Proverbs 12:12b - ...but the root of the [uncompromisingly] righteous yields [richer fruitage].

Proverbs 31:15a - She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household ...

I was reflecting on today on my freedom. It has been 18 months now that I have experienced freedom from corporate America. Freedom from emails, phone calls, voice mails, urgent accounts that needed set up, stressed out clients, frazzled bankers, quotas, appointments, corporate meetings, chasing down yet another sale, stress, a cluttered mind. Eighteen months since my mind has been released to actually think. I imagine it's been similar to professors taking a year Sabbatical. I would imagine during that year, they actually take time to really reflect on their life. Are they really where they want to be? Are they headed in the direction they want to go? Are they finding fulfillment in what they are pursuing? Or, is it time for change? Reassessment? This time for me, has been similar to that. Assessing where I am in life. Assessing, without the email stresses, corporate stresses, truly being able to be in a quiet place, consistently and continue to assess.

During the last 18 months, I've had the opportunity to deepen my roots. Deepen a relationship, that at times had been watered down. I remember days while in corporate America, hearing my alarm clock go off, hitting snooze and just pulling the covers up over my head. Rolling over, putting a pillow on my head, trying to hide from the responsibilities or lack of fulfillment. Granted, I was successful in what I did. I exceeded my numbers, but each morning brought me to the same place, pulling the covers up trying to avoid the life that I didn't want. I wanted happiness. I wanted fulfillment. Instead, I was doing really good at just making a dollar bill.

As I read through Proverbs 12, I continued to come back to the word "root." The "root" of the righteous will not be moved. The "root" of the righteous will yield richer fruit. I heard the Holy Spirit this morning tell me, "I appreciate the consistency of pursuing My Word.... Keep your central focus on Me. Do you realize My timing is good. My timing is right. Daily listen. Daily study. Recognize the time and season. Seasons change. Seasons do not stay the same forever." I'll be the first to tell you, I have not been perfect in the last 18 months. Just this morning, had to ask forgiveness from Tyler. I'm still a work in progress. But, praise God for God! Praise God for grace & forgiveness. Praise God for second chances, and for seasons! That if you are not in a harvesting season, YOUR season is coming!

Root. Where is your root? Where are you planted? What is grounding you? Is it nothing? Does the stress of work, family, schedules keep you so busy that it seems you are just tossed with the wind. To & fro, to busy to have time to get out of the state of frustration? Are your roots so shallow that a small burst of wind blows you off course? You may not be able to take an actual "Sabbatical" for a year like a college professor may... but, maybe it's a "Sabbatical" to establish roots. Stronger, deeper roots. Maybe it's a "Sabbatical" from a commitment that you've had that is not yielding fruit. Maybe it's a "Sabbatical" from TV. Maybe it's a "Sabbatical" from one of the soccer leagues that your kids are involved in. Maybe it's a "Sabbatical" from the countless hours spent on FaceBook. Maybe it's a "Sabbatical" to begin to establish roots that are deep enough that won't blow away. These words also came to me this morning, "Your success rises or falls on your ability to be focused & consistent." Establishing a Central Focus, establishing Roots. Developing an ear to hear that still small voice of the Holy Spirit. For maybe the first time in a long time, allowing roots to go deep, deep enough that after awhile, you will hunger and thirst for time in the Word, for time with the Lord. A central focus like our Proverbs 31 friend, how she rises while it is yet night. It didn't say she "sometimes" rises, or "sporadically" rises. She "rises when she feels like it." It simply says "she rises while it is yet night." Taking in the whole of Proverbs 31, seeing her success, seeing the fruit of her labor, seeing her pursuits, I would anticipate that her Central Focus was on seeking the Lord. That very Central Focus took her roots deep, to a place where she not only received direction, but she received fulfillment, she received happiness.

May your Central Focus Deepen YOUR Roots! May your focus on our Father take you to a place above what you could have dreamed or imagined. May your central focus make your roots so deep that you will never be moved! May your central focus take you to a place where your roots in the Lord yield fruit so great that you are able to spill out onto hundreds and thousands of people with blessings.