#81 - What Sin?

Good morning! Well... I thought I'd share a couple pictures of "THE BOY" in case we aren't pals on Facebook! This was the other night at dinner!! WHOA! I know! IT WAS ALL DAD!!!! I just am not a fan of the gross mess, but dad said, "Let him be! Let him do it! He can feed himself." AHHHH! So, reluctantly I held in my urge to help. I warned Tyler up front that if Tyler Jr was going to feed himself that I was not going to do the "clean-up" OR "bath time!" Sianara! No way Jose! So, Tyler Sr agreed and here is the fruit of that decision! One word: MESS!!!

For real, this is the happiest baby!! He is such a joy and blessing!
He will be a great big brother when that time comes! 

This shows a little bit of his personality! Tyler Jr is SOOO funny!
We just laugh all the time at our house!

OK... well, we have MyGym today, so let's get rolling! I'm still getting used to "remembering" that whole "MyGym" thing! You'd think it would be well implanted in my mind! Anyone that sees me Tuesday nights, feel free to REMIND ME about it!!! HA! :) 

Check the reading schedule for what we read today. And let's do this! It's some GOOD STUFF today!! I'm excited to see how the Holy Spirit brings it all together. I was just jammin out while I read! I was saying, "WOW! For real! This is all so good!!" Isn't it fun when you are in the Word and you have times like that?! When you are just like, "FOR REAL GOD!??!! This is some good stuff!" It's like, "Duh. Of course it is!" lol! Ok... I'm going to quit humoring myself and get started! Oh... one more thing.... a "PS" if you will.... a shout out to Danielle H! She is the one who said, "Amy, I like it when you put pictures up." So, the pictures are for you Danielle! :) Have a great day at work! hehe!

Psalm 6:6 - I am weary with my groaning; all night I soak my pillow with tears, I drench my couch with my weeping. 

Psalms 36:1-2 - TRANSGRESSION [like an oracle] speaks to the wicked deep in his heart. There is no fear or dread of God before his eyes. For he flatters and deceives himself in his own eyes that his iniquity will not be found out and be hated.  

Psalm 66:18 - If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.  

Psalms 66:9-10, 12b - Who put and kept us among the living, and has not allowed our feet to slip. For You, O God, have proved us; You have tried us as silver is tried, refined, and purified.... we went through fire and through water, BUT You brought us out into a broad, moist place [to abundance and refreshment and the open air]. 

Psalm 66:16, 96:3 - Come and hear, all you who reverently and worshipfully fear God, and I will declare what He has done for me! Declare His glory among the nations, His marvelous works among all the peoples.

Psalm 126:5 - They who sow in tears shall reap in joy and singing. 

OK... WOW! This is some good stuff! Brace yourself! A quick synopsis before we start. SIN. VICTORY. ACTION. Hopefully you are reading a "color-coated" computer or SmartPhone. So we are visiting SIN, then the experience of VICTORY, and then the ACTION we are called to take here. This is good stuff. 


Psalm 6... as I read the amplified and I read that David here was weeping in his PILLOW, a soft spot touched me. Weeping in his PILLOW?! I mean... for real?! If you think about someone weeping in a pillow, who comes to mind? A big military leader? A king? Yah, I didn't think so! That didn't come to my mind either. What came to my mind was a young girl, crying over a boyfriend, or some gossip going around at school. I didn't picture this "Man after God's Own Heart", not just crying, but WEEPING into a pillow. Weeping. Remorse. Guilt. Sorrow. 


Psalm 36 carries us into our sometimes naivety in the area of sin. Our naivety when we think that our sin will not be found out! It says that this person who is holding in this sin deceives himself. To think our SIN won't be found out? To be pious enough to think that we can RUN from our sin? That we can hide? Where can we go to hide? When I think about hiding, I think about running down to the playground down the road from where we live. To hide there. Or... like a child, to hide under my covers. To do what I have often done, and pulled the covers up over my head and just stay in bed. I will hide in my sleep. If I sleep, I can hide. My sin won't be found out. But the reality of it all is, we can continue to run or we can continue to try to hide, but in God's omnipotence, he knows all along where we are. As we run, it is as if he watches his favorite child running away. He sees the back of us as we are running down the sidewalk. Our Father, stands back at our house, His face just longing for us to come back. His face, filled with sorrow, hurt and pain. He understands the guilt we are feeling, our hurt. And His greatest desire as we come running back repenting and asking for forgiveness is to tell us, "My child, what sin? My child, I love you. What sin? Your sin is as far as the east is from the west. All I see is my child, white as snow. Unblemished. Darling, what sin?"


When we hold that sin in, the longer we keep it close to our hearts, the colder we become. The more callous our heart becomes, our spirit, our outlook on life. We begin to build sin upon sin. Lie upon lie. We continue to just cover up our sin. And until we come to repentance, the Lord will not hear our cries. 


God wants us to know the outcome. "Child! Please just come to Me! My Child, come! Come! Draw near to Me! In this place, with Me is abundance Child. In this place is wholeness. In this place you don't have to run. In this place you are safe. In this place (your name), I have EVERY good gift for you! Everything that you have been praying for, it is here. Everything you have been longing for, it is here. The secret desires that you have just kept in your head, Darling, even those are here. I have those! Don't run. It just takes you humbling yourself, laying it down. Don't keep carrying that sin. Don't keep carrying that care. Lay it down here. Lay it down at my feet. Lay it down at the alter. My Child, my desire is for you to have abundance. I want to bless you. If your heart is cold and turned from me, I can't hear you. Through the tears you have cried, joy and singing will come. Morning will come. Draw near to Me."


What sin? What sin? When we humble ourself before our Almighty Father, shame, guilt, sorrow, torment..... when we take that step, often such a hard step, to repent his comment to us is, "What Sin?" As far as the east is from the west, when we repent, He has already forgotten it. Praise the Lord. We no longer have to carry around the shame or the guilt. The actions, the things that we have done that we feel shame about, dirty, disappointed, those things are literally cast into a SEA of FORGETFULNESS! They are GONE! So lay down your burdens once and for all. Lay down the sins that have been so easily entangling you. Lay them down at the feet of Jesus so they can be forgotten and you can walk into a world of freedom and abundance. Declare HIS faithfulness! Declare what He has done for you! Declare His freedom!


You can be forgiven. Nothing is to bad. And your Father will literally forgive and forget! His desire is to say, "Child, What sin?" 

#71 - Forgiving Ourselves

Good morning! :) I'm taking my DOR tomorrow if you wondered! :) Daddy & 'The Boy' are going to enjoy "MyGym" in the morning! :) We have some make-up classes for him to attend. Dad will have fun I'm sure. Last time that we went on a Saturday the place was packed! It was fun watching all the moms and dads with their little one. :) I'll tell ya... 'The Boy' is just really funny. It's fun to just sit here and turn up the baby monitor sometimes. He just is in his bed, "La la la la. La la la la. La la la la." His hands just go up in the air, and he moves them around. It's SOOOO funny! And if you could hear his voice, it is so cute! It's kind of a high pitched singing voice. He's just up there talking to himself. I think he's practicing a speech. One day, he'll be a great communicator and take after his Papa! :) 


Oh... and I'm sporting my "Montoya" jeans, as we call them. It's still a little bit warm for jeans... but Tyler and I love my 3 pairs of "Montoya" jeans! :) Ha! A cutie friend of mine gave them to me a year ago....I was about 12 weeks prego when she 'gifted' them to me..... but NOW THEY FIT! Yippee!! She's a little thing! They were too big for her! Hey, I'll be happy to sport her 6's! Locally, she participated in the "New Way, New You" program that I was a part of last year (and I now coach people through). It consists of proper eating (actually like the food pyramid! Wow!), organic supplementation, 4321 exercise program (10 minutes a day!). Yah... now she's like a 0 or 2! Go Mego! 125 is my next goal... 4 pounds to go! Yippee! By then, Trinity, or Trin Trin as we call her, should be on her way. (Our next kiddo.) OK... let me get focused here... I'm a bit off topic. 


Today's Reading Schedule: Proverbs 17, Psalms 17, 47, 77, 107, 137, Proverbs 31:10-31. 

Psalm 107: 20 - He sends forth His word and heals them and rescues them from the pit and destruction. 

Proverbs 17:9 - He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends. 

Psalm 77:13 - Your way, O God, is in the sanctuary [in holiness, away from sin and guilt]. Who is a great God like our God? 

Psalm 17:5 - My steps have held closely to Your paths [to the tracks of the One Who has gone on before]; my feet have not slipped.

Proverbs 31:17a - She girds herself with strength [spiritual & mental...] 

As many of you know, I am proactively writing a book right now. Two actually. Both to be completed by the end of this year. The one, Fairytales Do Come True, is the story of me, my life. The leading up to meeting Tyler, the meeting, engagement, and wedding. It's quite an amazing story. Especially one of grace and forgiveness. I just crested over 25,000 words, so that is exciting. :) 


As I have been writing, my mind has had to go back and re-live some of the events. Some of the ugly events before meeting Tyler... some of the hard memories, that were very painful at the time. This morning I was re-living the challenge of forgiveness, and how often, the hardest person to forgive is ourselves. We see a sin, a sin so great that though Jesus has done all He needs to do, He has gone to the cross for US, for that VERY SIN we committed, and yet we hold on to it. We hold on to its misery, allowing it to keep us in the pit of despair. We allow it's ugly grasp to keep our hearts heavy, our face downtrodden, and our countenance one of shame. We live in a place that is hard, and in a place of shame, unwilling or unable to forgive ourself. How could God want me back after I did something so horrible? How could He want me back? 


This morning as I read the chapters, and scriptures, it was so beautiful. The pictures, the story, the view. Pureness. Love. Forgiveness. Help. I read how He heals them and rescues them from the pit & destruction. How after forgiveness comes, we are able to enter into a sanctuary. The picture that comes to mind is one from the book, The Dream Giver, by Bruce Wilkinson. I picture Ordinary, there at the pool. Trees surrounding him, and a light shining through the middle. I picture Ordinary in the pool, so much light and fullness, the dirt is washed away. It truly is a sanctuary. White, filled with light, the very presence of Jesus is felt. The fullness and grace encompassing the whole area. Full. To the top. Grace. Holiness. Away from sin & guilt. The sin & guilt completely washed away. 


For me, now I am in a place where I truly do my best to hold closely to HIS path, so that my feet will not slip. That my eyes and gaze would stay forward, the I would continue to press in to HIS presence and like the Proverbs 31 woman, that I would gird myself with strength. That in HIS presence I would find strength. That HIS guidance would keep me FROM sin & guilt. That my focus would be strong enough that I'm not even drawn off the path. 


But... this morning, I remembered well the pain of sin. I remembered well the challenge of forgiveness. My shame during that time was so great, my hurt & pain was overwhelming. How could a God so good forgive me when I felt so bad? During that time, through the help of a friend who prayed for me, I was able to experience that sanctuary. I was able to enter in to a place where the guilt was washed away. Where the shame was turned to white. A place where I experienced true forgiveness. A place where I allowed AMY to forgive AMY. And then the grace of God swept into my heart and filled all the places that seemed so dark. My heart felt new. I experienced grace. I experienced love. 


Maybe you are carrying something today. Something that to you is BIG. Something that to you, seems TOO big for even God to forgive. Friend, let me tell you, that is EXACTLY why Jesus went to the cross. He went to the cross for THAT VERY SIN. If it were just you, just that sin, He would have done it just for you! You are already forgiven. Your sin has already been paid for. Today, will you allow YOU to forgive YOU? Allow yourself to enter into the sanctuary where your sin can be made white as snow. Allow yourself grace. 


Then, it's just a matter of staying on THE path. He will help your feet to not slip. Commit your feet to HIS path and allow yourself the grace of forgiveness. 

#10 - BONUS SATURDAY: Red Handed

Wow...what good stuff this morning! My goal is to be predictable in my posts, so my "plan" is to post Monday-Friday and take the weekends off.... but I just can't help to not post this one.... Some really good stuff this morning. 


So being that it is the 5th, we are taking text from Proverbs 5....as I read the chapter, there are SOOO many ways to go: the loose woman, the faithful woman... and really go into depth there. But honestly, this morning after reading, I couldn't get past the first verse! 


Let's take a look:

Proverbs 5:1 - MY SON, be attentive to my Wisdom [godly Wisdom learned by actual and costly experience], and incline your ear to my understanding [of what is becoming and prudent for you]...

Wow! So, let's discover who is talking here. Like we found in earlier in Proverbs 4:3 it says, When I (Solomon) was a son with my father (David).... he taught me and said to me...
So, we can assume David continues teaching Solomon in Proverbs 5:1 as he begins with MY SON. What I really thought was interesting was this... be attentive to my Wisdom. 
What is the best way to learn? We often hear, "through other people's experience"! I can hear David saying to his son, "Son, listen to my Wisdom, it has come through actual experience! Costly Experience!" Which makes me then want to look back on the story to see what David is talking about. 
What was "costly" about David's experience? DEATH! DEATH is what was greatly costly. It cost the life of David's seven day old son. 
Let's re-cap the story. About 10 months earlier David writes Joab, a military leader, a letter saying, "Put Uriah in the front line of the heaviest fighting and withdraw from him, that he may be struck down and die." (2 Sam. 11:15) Bathsheba mourned her husband, and when she was done mourning him, David brought her in, made her his wife and she bore him a son. (2 Sam 11:27).


So... here's where it gets interesting. Over the next 9-10 months, David enjoys life with his new, beautiful wife. Her belly grows, she looks radiant and pregnant. At dinner, they likely talk about this new baby. They dream about what he or she may be, hoping it will be a boy to carry on the name. They begin to love this child before it is even born. All the while, David knowing his sin, pushes it further and further under the rug. Isn't that true though. If or when you have sinned, haven't you just had the times where you hope no one finds out. The longer it goes with no one knowing, we take on the attitude of: "What sin.... it's been so long ago, does it really even count..." or we begin to convince ourselves that it didn't even really happen because we have gotten away with it for so long. 
Well, that is when the man of God, Nathan appears. Nathan tells King David of a story of a poor and rich man. How the poor man had ONE lamb, he coddled and raised up this little lamb from infancy, he practically fed it out of his very own hand. In the meantime, a traveler is coming through, and the rich man not wanting to take from his own large flock, takes from the poor man, takes all that the poor man has. Takes the one lamb belonging to the poor man. David gets furious, says, "Surely this man should die!"
Nathan announces, "This man is you!"
Imagine the immediate sinking in the heart of David. He is caught..... red-handed. His sin has been found out. Think of how David must have felt, or how you have felt when you are caught in a sin, the shame that rises from your heart. The warm heat on your cheeks. The agony and disgust you feel in yourself. You just want to get on your knees and cry. I believe, this must have been how David felt. Pain, disgust & sorrow. 
So, his now wife is getting ready to have a baby and Nathan announces that the baby will surely die. On top of the disgust and sorrow, this child that has been growing in David's wife's stomach, this child that they have already begun to love, will die. All due to the sin that David has committed. David pleads with the Lord, weeps and cries before the Lord to spare his Son. He won't eat anything or drink anything. David cries out to the Lord... but after 7 days, the son of David & Bathsheba dies.
David was guilty, but did receive mercy on his life as Nathan told him, "The Lord has put away your sin; you shall not die." 


In Proverbs 5:1, David is speaking from actual & costly experience. We can read in Romans that sin leads to death. If we continued on the road of sin, death is the outcome, their are consequences to sin. 


I think, how many times have I sinned and felt utterly ashamed. Where I just wanted to run and hide from God and hide from my sin. Pull the covers up over my head and hide. But praise God.... though we are often found guilty, though the cost of our sin could and should be our life, he often pardons our sin and forgives. 


The following video shows is just a clip of an amazing video LUMP. It portrays the shame of sin.... the ending, not shown in this clip, shows a father... loving & hugging his boy who dripping in sweat, running from fear & shame is forgiven.