Proverbs 18:24 - The man of many friends [a friend of all the world] will prove himself a bad friend, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 31:30a - Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain...She has more friends than I do.
She's prettier than me.
She always has such a cute outfit on.
People invite her places all the time.
Her house is nicer than mine.
She is so nice.
She's always buying something new.
She is always doing something fun.
She & her husband always go out to eat.
Money doesn't ever seem like a big deal to her.
She's so good at making things.
She throws lots of parties.
Who is the "she" in your life? Who are the "Joneses" in your life? Are they there? Do you find yourself frequently discontent only when you look at the life of someone else? If you are truly just looking at your life, living your day, you actually like it.... you enjoy your life, until you compare it?
It's interesting, I found the Holy Spirit revealing some things to me this morning about this very issue. As I reflected on the "Joneses" in my life, I found myself realizing, all the areas where I felt inadequate or insecure (ie: all of their strengths), mirrored a lifestyle that would not even fulfill me. As I thought about my true perfect day, it would not be doing the daily and weekly activities that the Joneses did.
Tyler was sharing with me about a recent audio he listened to. It was by Marita Litweiller (author of Wired That Way). She went on to describe personality types. How opposites attract. What brings energy and life to different people. What energizes one person would be completely draining to the next person. They were not designed for that 'strength.' Where one person is energized by working out, running, lifting weights... the thought of being so "die-hard" would be draining to someone else. Equally, the bubbly wife always entertaining guests week after week, would be draining to the next mom. We were not all designed to be the same. We were designed to be different. We begin to get drained when we are trying to BE & DO those things that are a strength of someone else. Whether your a "one-person friend" or a "30 person friend," it's OK! You were designed just that way!
In the King James Version of Proverbs 31:30 it begins with, "Favour is deceitful, beauty is vain..." "Favour" in the Hebrew is also defined as "acceptance." "Deceitful" is also described as: in vain, disappointment, lie, wrong. So we're not just talking about the charming and graceful woman here in verse 30. We can look at it in a whole new way! We could also say this, "The woman who focused on being accepted is deceived, disappointed, living a lie. She is operating in vain."
Our desire to be accepted, to be like the "Joneses," to be like that co-worker who seems to have it all together is all vain. It all brings disappointment. I've heard this phrase that is helpful: "You will only ever be SECOND best if you try to be someone else, but you can be #1 at being the best YOU!"
You can finish #1 ALL THE TIME when you are focusing at being the #1 YOU! When we compare, we will always find ourselves disappointed and discouraged. What are YOUR strengths? What is YOUR perfect day? What makes YOU happy? Focusing on those questions will help us to really experience fulfillment in this walk through life as a Christian. You are not called to be like "her." Be the best YOU and feel the wonderful release of pressure you've placed on yourself to be like someone else!