#261 - Part 1: Fueling a Marriage That Will LAST!

Proverbs 31:12 - She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.

Proverbs 31:17 - She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm. 

In a recent conversation, my husband was telling me about a minister he was listening to. This minister said, "I love God more than I love my wife. But....... she also loves God more than she loves me!"

It is the key ingredient to a long & successful marriage. How would you respond if I posed the question to you? "Do you love God more than you love your spouse? Your children?"

Why is it so important to love God first? When you love God first and foremost, you will love your spouse how God would want you to love them, even on those days when they may be unbecoming, unattractive, frustrating. When you love God first and foremost, you will find ways to show love to your spouse, to make them feel special, to meet their needs.

THIS IS CRUCIAL! Sure, we can only control our own love for the Lord... we cannot control our spouse, and their commitment and time they spend with the Lord. BUT we can CONTROL ourself! When we LOVE the Lord first, it WILL spill off into all other relationships in our life. His love will overflow into our relationship with our spouse, our co-workers, our children. When we love God first, HE will give us wisdom HOW TO love! Maybe it's loving in a way that we would not have thought of on our own. Maybe, unbeknownst to us, our spouse is really feeling like he/she needs a break. He/she would feel loved just by having a weekend getaway to recoup. Fishing. Chilling. Sleeping. In a mountain cabin. Alone or with you. SO... because we love the LORD first, the Holy Spirit leads us to send them on a little 1, 2, 3 day getaway to refresh (no kids allowed!). Maybe it's something as simple as, our spouse would feel loved by having some of their favorite fresh baked cookies when they get home from a long day at work. Maybe it's the new "technology" piece they were eye-balling at BestBuy, or a new shirt? Maybe it's just walking in the house to a wife with make-up on, her hair done & in clothes other than sweatpants & a T-shirt?

FUELING your marriage is IMPORTANT! You cannot get a return on investment if you do not invest!! That could mean a regular weekly, or monthly date night. A husband/wife retreat to getaway without kids... once or twice a year. It doesn't have to be too fancy, but investing in the babysitter, the lodging, the meals could REAP GREAT DIVIDENDS into a long, healthy and happy marriage!!!

Some days it's about the little things. The little things DO matter. Saving the curly chips for them, because those are their favorites. Pulling the covers up and tucking them in when it's time for bed, because they like their covers tight. Filling up their coffee cup for a refill so they don't have to get out of their comfy seat. Peeling their tomato that you put on their sandwich, because it shows you went the extra step - and it's just how grandma did for them! Loving them. Saying kind words. Not nagging. Serving their favorite foods. Showing love how THEY receive love the best! If you need help in this area, a great book to read and RE-read is, "The Five Love Languages." ----- And friend, let me remind you of the principle of sowing and reaping. When you SOW these good seeds into your spouse, you WILL REAP a harvest in return! Don't fret! If you feel like you are doing all the giving and sowing, continue sowing with a good attitude, GOD SEE'S! Your good deeds will not go unnoticed!

Finally, the Proverbs 31 woman girds herself with spiritual strength. FRIEND, YOU need to be renewed and refreshed! YOU need to have YOUR batteries recharged too. This may mean TAKING SOME THINGS OFF YOUR PLATE, OFF YOUR CALENDAR! Her physical fitness strength gives her the extra energy she needs to keep up, to keep her metabolism high and give her those endorphins (the happy chemical her body makes!)! Her mental strength keeps her sharp, because she invests time into reading books to help her grow mentally versus wasting countless hours watching TV, on Facebook or playing mindless games on her iPhone. She finds ways to STAY SHARP, stay mentally strong, to be an iron-sharpener to her husband.

It's OUR job to get OURSELF right. Let's begin today. What are some ways we can FUEL our marriage today??? I'd love to hear ONE way that YOU fuel your marriage? Feel free to share! :)

xoxo!
Have a blessed day!

#115 - Remember Me?

Good morning.... actually, Good afternoon! I pray you are having a great day so far! We are officially 15 days from Christmas! WOW! How exciting!! A wonderful time to enjoy with family & friends. A wonderful time to really spend time being thankful.

Psalm 40:1-3a - I WAITED patiently and expectantly for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry.    ²He drew me up out of a horrible pit [a pit of tumult and of destruction], out of the miry clay (froth and slime), and set my feet upon a rock, steadying my steps and establishing my goings.
    ³And He has put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.

Proverbs 31:20 - She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit].

Psalm 40 made me think about how much we have to be thankful for during this Holiday Season. The hustle and bustle can cause us to be focused more on the gift getting and gift giving than on the true reason of why we celebrate Christmas to begin with. Now, let me say, I am equally guilty.... sometimes maybe even MORE guilty than most. A book that I would HIGHLY recommend.... actually would even be a great present for the stocking for husband and wife, "Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Well, in the book as you read through the love languages.... the 5 are this: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Quality Time & Gifts. Everyone has a love language that they just really feel loved when done... my #1 love language sometimes seems the most "vain"... but it is what it is, GIFTS! I LOVE GETTING GIFTS! I can't help it. I just light up when I get a gift... so for me, Christmas & birthdays are awesome! I even have told Tyler, "Wrap up a pair of Nike socks! I don't care! Part of the fun for someone like me is just opening many wrapped packages." For Tyler I know he would tend to want to put everything in one box for me to open... but for the "Gifts" love language person, that is not as fun! But, one love language is not better or worse than the other. Some are just more evident to point out. Tyler on the other hand is "Acts of Service." When I get him something to drink or make him a meal or pull the covers up over him when he is taking a nap, he feels most loved then.... I'm still waiting for him to use the really cool electronic highlighter that I got him for Christmas last year! :-/ Argh. 


But... the main point is really this... even without the presents, the lights, the trees, the wreaths, the food.... we have SOOOOO much to be thankful for! Even if we took all of that away! We have so much to be thankful for! He drew YOU & ME up out of a horrible pit of destruction, out of the froth and slime, and set OUR feet upon a rock, steadying OUR steps and establishing OUR goings. And He has put a new song in OUR mouths! 


The Almighty God, GAVE US LIFE! Because God sent Jesus, we are able to live with HOPE! We are able to live with JOY! We are able to live free from FEAR because He has put ANGELS all around us to guard us (Ps 91)! Because God gave His son Jesus, we are able to experience a love greater than any person could ever give us. 


If gifts are stressing you out, don't do them. If you feel like things are out of control, do what the famous Napoleon Hill said, "Take your eyes off yourself and go help and serve someone else." Go to the hospital and bring gifts to children who wouldn't otherwise get gifts. An orphanage, a nursing home, an Alzheimer's unit. At the end of the day does Jesus say to you, "Do you Remember Me?" 


At the end of the day what is the FOCUS? May the focus go from self to Jesus. May the actions, attitude and atmosphere in your life and family be on Jesus. And at the end of the day, you don't hear the question, "Do you Remember Me?" BUT, you hear the comment, "Thank you for remembering me!" 

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ - Matthew 25: 37-40