#262 - Part 2: Fueling A Marriage That Will Last

Proverbs 31:12 -  She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.

Ephesians 4:26-27 (MSG) -  Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.

Going on 13 years of marriage (January 6th!), Tyler and I got to talking the other day about our marriage. It was a good conversation. We discussed why we felt it had been so good up to this point, how to improve it going forward, and one specific building block came out of our conversation that I thought would be valuable to share.

As a newlywed couple in our early marriage, we decided that we would implement a monthly marriage evaluation. Each month, we spent time filling out an evaluation with questions that we had pre-determined. We had seen patterns good and bad modeled by our parents and other people, some that we wanted to follow, some that we wanted to avoid. Our marriage evaluation may have took 30-45 minutes for each of us to fill out separately before coming together and discussing each question. The questions covered every possible aspect that could bring turmoil into a marriage if not dealt with, such as: How is the meal preparation going? How are household chores being done? Is this effective? How is money being managed? How is our sex life? Have you felt romanced in the last month? How is fitness working within marriage? How are relationships/friendships outside of marriage? How has our relationship with the Lord been, our time alone with God? And the list goes on.

The KICKER

At the end of each marriage evaluation, we had TWO of the MOST IMPORTANT questions. I'll start with the last question.

• On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your marriage and why? Where could it improve? 

That was a great question! For one month, I may have scored our marriage as an 7 with the reason "why" as, "I feel like I wasn't romanced at all. Our schedules just got too busy, and there was little of the spark." The following month, I would notice Tyler working on keeping the spark in our marriage. Maybe bring me flowers, or scheduling a romantic date with a walk on the beach. It was RARE, if ever, for two months in a row that we felt the "weak" spot was in the same area.

The QUESTION that HELPED THE MOST

For me, and probably for most young married couples, I did not know how to communicate in the beginning. I definitely did not like confrontation. If my feelings got hurt, if not for this most important question, I would have pushed my hurt feelings under the carpet, only for hurt to build upon hurt. They may have been small hurts, but hurts nonetheless. Over time, those hurts would have most likely created scars over and around my heart. For some marriages, those small scars undealt with are what has led to the "D" word down the road. What was that question? 

• List 2 positive withholds and 1 negative withhold that happened in the last month. 

"What in the world is a withhold?" you may ask. First of all, a "withhold" comes with rules. The recipient could only respond with TWO WORDS. "Thank You." A positive withhold was something that Tyler did that month that made me feel good. Maybe I didn't have time to comment or say something to him at the moment it happened, but it was something that made me feel good. A negative withhold was the opposite. It was something that he did or said that month that hurt my feelings or made me upset. We may have been in a public environment, not allowing me to comment immediately on it, and then maybe it was forgotten..... until I had to pull together 3 things for "Withholds" on our marriage evaluation. Then we would sandwich the withholds when we told the other person: one positive, one negative and wrap up with the final positive withhold.

What this taught me? As a newlywed, this was CRUCIAL to me in learning how to communicate. I knew that ALL Tyler could say in response was, "Thank you." That was the rule. He couldn't get defensive and try to defend his position, but could only say, "Thank you." Whether my feelings were right or wrong, had no bearings on the fact that they were my feelings, and my feelings had been hurt. Same with Tyler. When he would give me his "Withholds," I could not defend myself, but could only thank him for telling me. 

It was WONDERFUL! It allowed a "green," "newlywed couple" to voice our feelings, even the hard ones. Some months it may have been about something sexual, that would have been embarrassing for one of us to bring up otherwise. Other months, it may have been something I said to undermine Tyler in front of people he respected. 

Ultimately, our first year of marriage we LEARNED how to communicate. We learned how to talk about topics, despite how difficult the subject may be. When most of the time, newly married couples may take years to learn how to communicate and talk about the tough issues, some never talk about them, we learned during year one. 

We no longer do a monthly marriage evaluation, although we did discuss re-implementing it a few times a year when we go on our "husband/wife" weekend recharge retreats. Why reimplement it after so many years? Communicating and keeping our marriage fresh is worth it! 

What about you? How do you keep your marriage fresh? How do you keep the communication lines open with a busy life, jobs, kids, and everything else that goes on?

#261 - Part 1: Fueling a Marriage That Will LAST!

Proverbs 31:12 - She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.

Proverbs 31:17 - She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm. 

In a recent conversation, my husband was telling me about a minister he was listening to. This minister said, "I love God more than I love my wife. But....... she also loves God more than she loves me!"

It is the key ingredient to a long & successful marriage. How would you respond if I posed the question to you? "Do you love God more than you love your spouse? Your children?"

Why is it so important to love God first? When you love God first and foremost, you will love your spouse how God would want you to love them, even on those days when they may be unbecoming, unattractive, frustrating. When you love God first and foremost, you will find ways to show love to your spouse, to make them feel special, to meet their needs.

THIS IS CRUCIAL! Sure, we can only control our own love for the Lord... we cannot control our spouse, and their commitment and time they spend with the Lord. BUT we can CONTROL ourself! When we LOVE the Lord first, it WILL spill off into all other relationships in our life. His love will overflow into our relationship with our spouse, our co-workers, our children. When we love God first, HE will give us wisdom HOW TO love! Maybe it's loving in a way that we would not have thought of on our own. Maybe, unbeknownst to us, our spouse is really feeling like he/she needs a break. He/she would feel loved just by having a weekend getaway to recoup. Fishing. Chilling. Sleeping. In a mountain cabin. Alone or with you. SO... because we love the LORD first, the Holy Spirit leads us to send them on a little 1, 2, 3 day getaway to refresh (no kids allowed!). Maybe it's something as simple as, our spouse would feel loved by having some of their favorite fresh baked cookies when they get home from a long day at work. Maybe it's the new "technology" piece they were eye-balling at BestBuy, or a new shirt? Maybe it's just walking in the house to a wife with make-up on, her hair done & in clothes other than sweatpants & a T-shirt?

FUELING your marriage is IMPORTANT! You cannot get a return on investment if you do not invest!! That could mean a regular weekly, or monthly date night. A husband/wife retreat to getaway without kids... once or twice a year. It doesn't have to be too fancy, but investing in the babysitter, the lodging, the meals could REAP GREAT DIVIDENDS into a long, healthy and happy marriage!!!

Some days it's about the little things. The little things DO matter. Saving the curly chips for them, because those are their favorites. Pulling the covers up and tucking them in when it's time for bed, because they like their covers tight. Filling up their coffee cup for a refill so they don't have to get out of their comfy seat. Peeling their tomato that you put on their sandwich, because it shows you went the extra step - and it's just how grandma did for them! Loving them. Saying kind words. Not nagging. Serving their favorite foods. Showing love how THEY receive love the best! If you need help in this area, a great book to read and RE-read is, "The Five Love Languages." ----- And friend, let me remind you of the principle of sowing and reaping. When you SOW these good seeds into your spouse, you WILL REAP a harvest in return! Don't fret! If you feel like you are doing all the giving and sowing, continue sowing with a good attitude, GOD SEE'S! Your good deeds will not go unnoticed!

Finally, the Proverbs 31 woman girds herself with spiritual strength. FRIEND, YOU need to be renewed and refreshed! YOU need to have YOUR batteries recharged too. This may mean TAKING SOME THINGS OFF YOUR PLATE, OFF YOUR CALENDAR! Her physical fitness strength gives her the extra energy she needs to keep up, to keep her metabolism high and give her those endorphins (the happy chemical her body makes!)! Her mental strength keeps her sharp, because she invests time into reading books to help her grow mentally versus wasting countless hours watching TV, on Facebook or playing mindless games on her iPhone. She finds ways to STAY SHARP, stay mentally strong, to be an iron-sharpener to her husband.

It's OUR job to get OURSELF right. Let's begin today. What are some ways we can FUEL our marriage today??? I'd love to hear ONE way that YOU fuel your marriage? Feel free to share! :)

xoxo!
Have a blessed day!

#245 - You Want Kids? God WANTS You to have Kids Too!

Malachi 2:15-16a - And did not God make [you and your wife] one [flesh]? Did not One make you and preserve your spirit alive? And why [did God make you two] one? Because He sought a godly offspring [from your union]. Therefore take heed to yourselves, and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation....

Proverbs 31:28 - Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her... 

I always thought Christians are the people who should have lots of children. My logic? Logical, of course! Why not the Christians? Christians having multiple children who will grow up to make an impact on this world for Christ. Christians, especially the ones who really "live the life", raise their kids up knowing about Jesus, teach godly principles... those people should have lots of kids. Our world NEEDS them! Our world needs bold believers! So... though my thoughts seemed logical... I never really had scripture to back up just "WHY" Christians should have kids! And, WAAA-LAAAA, wouldn't you know it! Here it is in black and white in the Bible! And did not God make you and your wife one flesh? And WHY did God make you one? Because He sought to have a godly offspring from your union. 


God brought YOU & your spouse together so you could have godly offspring! It is HIS desire for you to be fruitful and multiply!


A few years ago I met a couple, they were so nice (still are nice!). Well, as I got to know the wife better,  I found out how good she was with kids. But in conversation she said concretely, "Oh no, we can't have kids. The doctors told us we can't." She was pretty sold on what the doctors said. I could tell she wanted kids, and would make a great mother if she had them. She and her husband were Christians and loved Jesus. At some point I gave her the book, "Supernatural Childbirth." It listed out sooooo many of the women in the Bible who had challenges getting pregnant, but how God blessed them with children! I would anticipate, those women in the Bible, Sarah, Rachel, & many of the other women... if they would see today's doctors, I'm sure they too, would have been told, "No, you can not get pregnant." Jesus is seed of Abraham & Sarah. Jesus is in that lineage. If Sarah hadn't have gotten pregnant, if our Saviour had not come.... where would we all be?

To this day, I do not know if my friend even read the book... but wouldn't you know it, the Doctors said, "You CAN NOT have children." But in 2011 she gave birth to a baby boy! :) Praise the Lord!!! :) When doctors said, "It CAN'T be done!" God said, "NOTHING is impossible to those who believe! NOTHING is impossible with Me!"

The Word says God is no respecter of persons, if God can do it for Sarah & Abraham at 90 years old, He can SURELY do it for you!!!

#168 - Are you in Full Partnership?

Good morning! :) Today I have a 17 month old. Wow! He's turning into such a big boy!! He got a big-boy hair cut the other day at the barber shop with CLIPPERS! Wow! He looks so different.... so much older. He is so funny, just loves to be the center of attention and be goofy. We definitely laugh a lot around him. What a joy! Praise the Lord. :)

Let's get into the Word.

Proverbs 14:6 - A scoffer seeks Wisdom in vain [for his very attitude blinds and deafens him to it], but knowledge is easy to him who [being teachable] understands.

Proverbs 31:11 - The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil. 

Well....the Word does have a way to reveal & confirm things in our life, doesn't it? As I was reading about the scoffer, a few things came to mind. First of all, this person was SEEKING Wisdom. They were SEEKING. In the past, we've studied verses on the importance of SEEKING, searching out scripture, finding those hidden truths in the Word. Well, here this "scoffer" is SEEKING Wisdom.... but as we read further we see that it is done in vain. Wow! Who knew you could seek Wisdom, but it be in vain!? We see why it was in vain, because of his attitude! His attitude blinded and deafened him for really gaining the truth, really attaining answers and Wisdom.

I personally had to to an "Attitude Check" for myself. The Holy Spirit revealed some things in my life that up until recently had been faulty, wrong. I'll share shortly (arghhh... OK, let's take a look at Amy's faults again! ha!! that's ok!)

Proverbs 31:11, gives us a bit of insight into how the relationship is between the Proverbs 31 wife and her husband. He trusts in her CONFIDENTLY, he relies on her, he believes in her. They truly are a team working together in their strengths. Each bringing things to the table that completes the "PAIR" to make them a dynamic duo! Separately, there would be thing missing. BUT, the Proverbs 31 wife has proven to her husband that she is capable. Through her series of successes of taking a task, accomplishing it, producing income with it or producing things her family needs, she proves herself worthy of his belief!

I have fallen in the guilty category of, "I'm the wife, you are the big, strong husband. Ride in off your white horse. Conquer the giants. Handle the responsibilities. And when all is said and done, I will dust you off and we will go off and live 'happily ever after.' - That is, AFTER YOU have done all the hard work." All the while, happy to give my opinion, or even on the rare occasions, sometimes disapproval every once in awhile.

Falling into the category of "not being the equal", but being the "lesser half" because of not wanting to take responsibility. Full responsibility. I was reminded of several things this morning that take two. (1)The disciples were sent out 2 by 2. (2) Deut 32:30 - One can put 1,000 to flight, TWO can put 10,000 to flight. (3) Eccl 4:11 - If TWO lie together they keep warm, but one by himself is cold.

And the list could go on. It has been an easy thing to just want "the husband" to go out and slay the dragons of life and just be the rescued damsel in distress, but I don't think that was how we were designed to be. The Proverbs 31 wife, PROVED HERSELF WORTHY. She earned her rewards through diligence. She was very much a PARTNER with her husband. Right, wrong or indifferent, I have wanted to be the "rescued damsel" into the fairy tale story without doing my part, leaving the weight & responsibility unfortunately on Tyler.

Praise God for marriage. We are brought together to become ONE. Where TWO become ONE. We were designed to COMPLETE each other, with our gifts, talents & abilities to be able to COMPLETE the calling God has on our life.

Are you single? It's YOU & GOD then! He's your partner! But to those married folks.... any of you trying to "shirk" responsibility? Are you in full partnership? Well... it's just another area that I have to work on.

Have a blessed day!

#160 - I AM VICTORIOUS! I FEAR NOT!

Good morning! Praise God! It is THURSDAY, MARCH 31st!!! The long awaited for day has passed... Tyler & I had our 2nd audit appointment yesterday with the IRS. Praise the LORD, all went well! We were audited for 2 years! We definitely learned a lot and praise the Lord we keep good records. We had TOTAL favor and not only did all of our records substantiate our expenses, BUT THEY owe US more money! Praise the Lord! What the enemy meant to throw us off course and distract us, we passed with flying colors. Let me tell you though, I am thankful to have all of that in the rear-view mirror!! NOTE to Tithers (which should be all Christians): If you are tithing 10% of your income, and maybe even giving an additional offering...YOU are going against what the WORLD says is normal! That's kinda good news! We don't want to be normal to the world! The IRS doesn't think it's normal either, so if that's YOU... just keep good records. WE ARE GIVERS! AMEN!?!? WE GIVE and it is GIVEN UNTO US, PRESSED DOWN, SHAKEN TOGETHER & RUNNING OVER! AMEN? It feels good to be different from the world!

Well... let's get started... today... the 31st.... a great day to fully look at the life of the Proverbs 31 woman! She is so amazing!

Proverbs 31:21 - She fears not....

Need I say more? The verse goes on to say that she fears not the snow for her household because her family is clothed with scarlet. But she FEARS NOT! She fears NOT! If we made a list of things we do not fear.... what would be on the list? What would be on your list? If you made a list, to remind YOURSELF, to remind GOD and to remind your enemy, Satan, what would be on that list? What would you be reminded on that you WILL NOT FEAR? Let's list out some possibilities!

1. I FEAR NOT my future, the goals & dreams I have. For GOD began a good work in me and WILL CARRY it out to COMPLETION! (Phil 1:6)
2. I FEAR NOT time! I fear not timing! For GOD'S timing in my life is perfect. I am in the right place at the right time ALL the time! I am learning what I need to learn now. God is positioning me in the perfect place to accomplish ALL He has called me to do.
3. I FEAR NOT our finances! My GOD LIBERALLY supplies ALL of my needs according to HIS riches in glory! (Phil 4:19)
4. I FEAR NOT stagnation. I know that there is a season for all things (Eccl. 3:1) I will walk out this season of my life with JOY. I will walk out this season of my life with expectation, knowing God has great and mighty things in store for me! I will walk out this season of my life as a LIGHT to the WORLD, like a city on a hill! (Matt. 5:14-16)
5. I FEAR NOT what my kids, my spouse, or I shall eat, drink or wear (Matt 5:25-26) I choose NOT to be anxious! For GOD clothes the birds of the air & as a child, He loves me much more than even those! I will not fear. I will not be anxious. 
6. I FEAR NOT my marriage. I call my marriage blessed, growing & prosperous. I call it a fulfilled relationship where I am married to my best friend!  
7. I FEAR NOT my health, or my families health! I call each of us healthy and whole. I SPEAK to our bodies that we operate in DIVINE health, how GOD created us to function. I speak to my body and any infirmity that may be there, I tell you, "INFIRMITY, SICKNESS, ARTHRITIS, KNEE PAIN, HIP PAIN, HEADACHE, You are NOT welcome! You are trespassing. You must LEAVE my body in Jesus Name! My body is the TEMPLE of the Holy Spirit and sickness, disease and pain, you have to GO in Jesus name!"
8. I FEAR NOT my growth or progress. I thank you God that YOU place those things in my path in which I need to learn. You place the people, books, CD's, studies, programs in my path to help me progress down the path I need to go! 
9. I FEAR NOT debt! I call my bills paid in full. I thank you Father that YOUR WORD says that YOU GIVE me HOUSES filled with GOOD things, that I fillest not (Deut. 6:10-11) Thank you for NO MORTGAGE! Thank you that you set me up to own NO man nothing, but to love him! (Romans 13:8) Thank you Lord for giving me the ability to be FREE from owing any man anything! I call myself DEBT-FREE!
10. I FEAR NOT relationships. I call myself a good friend to others. I am a friend to them, and therefore, they are friends to me. I call myself friendly! I call forth those IRON-SHARPENING relationships into my life (Prov. 27:17)! I call forth the God type of friends that I need in my life! I call my relationships blessed!
11. I FEAR NOT my weight! Like the Proverbs 31 woman, I am going to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT (Prov. 31:17)! I subject my body, I get fit, I get healthy, I make my arms strong, I eat healthy. When I am old in my years, my eyes will not be dim, nor my natural forces abated (natural vigor diminished) (Deut. 34:7)! My body will OPERATE like I am young, I will have strength like I am young! I choose to take care of my body now instead of having doctors to have to take care of me later. 
12. I FEAR NOT the enemy, Satan! Because MY JESUS DEFEATED HIM! I am ALREADY VICTORIOUS NOW! Jesus defeated DEATH, HELL AND THE GRAVE so that I could walk out my life, in EVERY AREA in VICTORY! I AM VICTORIOUS therefore I WILL NOT FEAR!

Well... I think it is a good starting list! What do you think? Did we leave anything out? Is there anything that you are holding onto that causes that seed of fear in the recesses of your mind? Add to it! What else should we NOT FEAR? 

I FEAR NOT what the future holds! I will have joy today! I will have strength & power today! Because of what Jesus did, I am victorious today! THE WORD says it, therefore I BELIEVE IT! 

I AM VICTORIOUS! 

I FEAR NOT!

#137 -The Road NOT to travel!

Good morning! Man... I'm just so thankful that as a Christian I have the right and ability to have a RELATIONSHIP with the Holy Spirit. That I have the ability to have a RELATIONSHIP with my Father. As I was just spending time this morning listening to His Voice... I just had an uneasiness inside me. An unsettled feeling in my heart... I wasn't sure what it was, but I didn't like it. As I spent time listening to find out what this uneasiness was, I found out it was anxiety. I was feeling anxious. Even as I write this, I am reminded of the verse that says, "Be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, submit your requests to God." (Phil 4:6) It was brought to my attention that the "subtlety" of the anxiousness that I was feeling was ALSO the enemy. SO... recently, the ENEMY was caught... the enemy of planting thoughts of FEAR & DOUBT in my mind... he was caught. So now, this morning, as I sought the Lord about the uneasiness I was feeling, He also let me know that the subtleness of that feeling was ALSO the enemy. The enemy was trying to cause me to feel anxious. Anxious about what? Pick something, anything. If I was thinking it, I was feeling anxious about it. SO... now that I have RECOGNIZED that as the enemy, I can take those thoughts CAPTIVE put them under the obedience of Christ Jesus. I was even directed to go on a long walk today with Tyler Jr and go to the park, BECAUSE I CAN, and walking slow is a great way to show the enemy that I WILL NOT BE ANXIOUS! He CAN NOT control me or cause me to live in fear, doubt, or anxiety. I am living in the obedience of Christ Jesus & Satan has NO PLACE in my life or my home! 


Well... let's get into the word this morning. It's pretty interesting... and quite an interesting story that you are going to read about. Man... I remember the depths of it so closely! Transparency, sometimes I feel like it could be a fault - how transparent that I can be, but I guess I just feel like if things I have experienced can help someone else, what is there to be transparent about? So, be prepared.... it's coming at you again. :)  

Proverbs 7:4 - Say to skillful and godly Wisdom, You are my sister, and regard understanding or insight as your intimate friend.

Proverbs 7:22-25 - Suddenly he [yields and] follows her reluctantly like an ox moving to the slaughter, like one in fetters going to the correction [to be given] to a fool or like a dog enticed by food to the muzzle
    ²³ Till a dart [of passion] pierces and inflames his vitals; then like a bird fluttering straight into the net [he hastens], not knowing that it will cost him his life.
    ²⁴ Listen to me now therefore, O you sons, and be attentive to the words of my mouth.
    ²⁵ Let not your heart incline toward her ways, do not stray into her paths.

Proverbs 31:11 - The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil. 

Let's start out with the happiness of this devotion. As I read Proverbs 7:4, it just made me smile. Anyone who has a sister or a really close best friend, will probably be able to relate with this. It says to SAY to Wisdom, you are MY sister and regard Understanding as your intimate friend. What I picture is this... 3 girls, arm in arm, just skipping. I picture my sister(s) on one side, and a best friend on the other side. Just skipping. Arm in arm. Like girls do. That is the type of relationship we are to desire to have, and work towards having with Wisdom. One that is tight like a sisterhood, or intimate like a best friend, like someone you would tell anything too. Tight, that when no one else could tell you something, when you wouldn't be able to receive correction from anyone else in life, your intimate friend could tell you and you would receive it without offense. The picture of 3 girls skipping is infused in my mind as how it is supposed to be. Helpful to me.....  Well... let's get into the rest of the devotion... 


As you read Proverbs 7, like I, you read about this loose woman. This woman who leads men astray. Her whole desire is to lure men down a path, her path, but a path they should not be going. As I read Proverbs 7:22-25, my heart was just aching. My heart was wanting to cry out for this man, who reluctantly, is led down her path. Is following her. He's a good man, but is persuaded. The temptation is great. The enticement of danger or what is "off-limits" is exciting. Sin can be fun! This man, he sees a beautiful, seductive woman who wants HIM. She is luring and enticing him, he knows it is wrong to follow, but finally, the temptation is so great, that he gives in. My heart aches for him. As you read in the several verses (through 27), you read that him veering off onto her path, following her, giving in to her will cost him his life. This short term pleasure of sin, this pleasure of following his flesh will cost him his very life! You see that the "dart of passion" pierces his vitals. He is not the only one she has hurt. It says in verse 26 that she has wounded many, and all those whom she has slain are a MIGHTY number. It also tells us the ULTIMATE destination of her path, which is to Hades, hell. The ultimate choice of following her path leads to death. 


Well... early on in our marriage, I remember when I was between jobs at one point and I took at waitressing job for a few months. I had waitressed a lot in college, was good at it, and knew it could be good money. Praise the Lord that our first year in marriage, Tyler and I did a marriage evaluation each month. We had made up an evaluation that covered every topic imaginable that COULD lead to marital strife. Each month we both, separately, filled out the evaluation and came back together to discuss it. This was such a great tool for us as a newly wed couple to learn how to communicate even on difficult subjects. At the end of our evaluation we rated our marriage on a scale of 1-10, and listed WHY we rated it as we did. It was EXTREMELY helpful in learning how to communicate! 


So... I'm waitressing. As I go about my business, the kitchen manager starts randomly just saying nice things to me. He wasn't out of line, but as he said nice things, or gave me compliments, I started to notice that I really liked it. I started looking forward to going to work to get compliments. I was happily married. After a few times of receiving these compliments and realizing that I felt like I was blushing, I noticed what was happening. I even started to take those thoughts captive. I started to take those thoughts, the "good feeling" of being complimented, I started to take those thoughts captive and put them under the obedience of Christ Jesus. I would say or think, I am happily married. I'm in a covenant relationship. Tyler is an awesome husband. I have an amazing man that I'm married too. Well... then... one night I had a dream about the kitchen manager. I had a dream that he kissed me and that I LIKED IT! - I know! Oh my goodness! Now that was when I was really thrown for a loop! Wow, did I feel horrible then! It was a dream. I remember taking the dream captive and casting down those thoughts. At this point, though I felt really bad about my feelings that I had been having, I had known that I hadn't done anything wrong. Up to that point, I knew I had done everything that I knew possible to do, to make sure as a Christian I was doing what I needed to do. But, seriously, when you have a dream about another man, he kisses you AND you LIKED IT! Whoa! That's pretty intense feelings and emotions. I remember deciding that I was going to tell Tyler about it. I didn't have anything to feel bad about, or guilty about, but I knew that he could help me and pray for me with the situation. What a tough subject to approach! I finally found a good time to tell Tyler about it. It was hard. I told him about my feelings. I told him about the compliments, nothing "out of line", but they made me feel good. I told him about the dream and how I liked it. 


Wow! Then I asked Tyler to pray for me. I obviously didn't want to have these thoughts or conflicting feelings about someone other than my husband. What an experience. Well... I believe behind the scenes, at least on Tyler's end, it heightened a lot of things! It made him aware that he did need to pray for me. It also made him aware that maybe I was feeling these things because I was lacking getting compliments from him. As a whole, things did start changing. I believe it was due to a lot of things. Me not fighting the battle myself, but having my husband fight the battle with me. Me continuing to take EVERY thought captive and put it under the obedience of Christ Jesus. Tyler began complimenting me more, showing me more attention. It didn't take long, soon, the kitchen manager, was just the kitchen manager. I didn't get butterflies around him. I didn't look forward to seeing him. Soon, things were back to how they were supposed to be. 


If we are tempted to go down the road of the flattering man or flattering woman like it talks about in Proverbs 7, we don't have to fight the battle ourselves. Single or married. We can ask a friend, ask our spouse, ask a parent... we can ask someone to fight the battle with us. We don't have to do it alone, and we don't have to travel down a road that leads to death. We CAN overcome! We can win! 

#109 - Victory is Yours if you will TRUST

Good afternoon! :) It feels like morning since I'm still in my "morning routine"... but running a bit late this morning. Had to give "the boy" a bath. :) Let's just say when he woke up he was SOAKED! So.... what is he doing now? He is also having his Quiet Time like mom. He has some toys, his books and HIS Bible in his bed with him. We got him his first Bible for his birthday and are beginning the process to talk to him about reading his Bible each morning during our "Quiet Time." I have been setting up the routine that the morning time is Quiet Time, reading time, and playing in "his" room. It's working. It will be fun to watch Tyler Junior as he grows and truly does establish and learn the importance of spending time in the Bible each morning. It is pretty amazing that kids really do want to mimic whatever their parents do, so since we read a lot, I anticipate he will do the same. 


Well, let's get rolling this morning. 

Proverbs 30:5 (NKJV) - Every word of God is pure; He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him. 

Psalms 30:3-6 (NKJV) - O LORD ...You have kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit.... His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning. Now in my prosperity I said, “I shall never be moved.” 

As I briefly spent time meditating on the word shield, and the idea of a shield, I envisioned some pretty interesting things. Picture this, it says that HE, GOD is YOUR shield if you put trust in Him. Picture going into battle or attacking whatever problem it is that you might be going through right now. Maybe it's some differences or issues with your boss, maybe it's with your finances, maybe it's your in-laws (who you are trying by faith not to treat like out-laws!).... whatever the situation. Imagine, since your trust is in God that as you walk into this problem or what seems like a battle GOD walks in front of you AS YOUR SHIELD. He IS your shield. As you are holding up your arm, like you would a shield, it is God who is going before you. It is God who is setting up your Victory! It is God who is doing the prep-work and the "warring" on your behalf. HE is fighting your battles. You are just walking them out. You are just treading your feet on the land, He is fighting for you, and YOU are receiving the Land. You are receiving what is rightfully yours.

Weeping may have been last night. But this morning came joy! Now you are walking out the Victory! You are walking out in prosperity... be it soul prosperity, relationship prosperity, marital prosperity, business prosperity, financial prosperity, health prosperity. GOD is walking before you AS your SHIELD AS you TRUST Him. Trust is the key ingredient here. Your situation may look impossible. Trust. Your marriage may look hopeless. Trust. You look at your 'online banking' and your finances seem hopeless. Trust. You feel like you are at the end of your rope. You want to have hope. You want to believe things will get better. You are looking up from what feels like the pit you are in just wanting to believe, wanting to hope. TRUST. God has kept you alive. God has kept you here for such a time as this. And PRAISE GOD, he did not bring you to this point to leave you in defeat. You may know that it was not God that brought you to this point to begin with, it was you. Maybe your mistakes or selfishness. May unkind words that you let slip out. Maybe mishandling of finances. Maybe you brought yourself to the place you are at and you pride is keeping you there. Lay down that pride and TRUST. Let God know once and for all that you can not do it on your own. Let Him help!
"Victory is yours," saith the Lord. Victory is yours. "Put down your pride, put down your ego. Let ME be your Shield. I know how and WILL win this battle if you will only TRUST. Your way has not worked. When will you turn to Me and let me work on your behalf? My ways may seem strange, my plans may not be how you would have done them, but my way ultimately WILL work if you will just TRUST. Will you trust Me today?"

Let the end of your story be Psalm 30:6, Now in my prosperity I said, “I shall never be moved.” Prosperity. Prosperity in your marriage. Prosperity in your business. Prosperity in your health. Prosperity on your job. Prosperity in your relationships. Prosperity in your finances. That you would be left standing, the ground would shake, the strength of your voice would be heard for ALL to hear, "I SHALL NEVER BE MOVED!" The roar of your voice echos in the land, "I SHALL NEVER BE MOVED! I SHALL NEVER BE MOVED! I SHALL NEVER BE MOVED!" 

Let your testimony right now be that you STOOD and that you TRUSTED. That you laid down your pride and ego once and for all and that the end of your story be told that YOU WILL NEVER BE MOVED. That you chose to TRUST. 

#33 - Fairytales Do Come True

Good Morning! Today is a very special day.... I'll tell you why in a minute. In the meantime, let's check out our verses....

Proverbs 13:12 - Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life.

Proverbs 31:10 - A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman--who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.

July 13th, 1998. Today is a very special day. Both of the verses for today took place on July 13th. Let's rewind... let's have story time. It was twelve years ago on July 7th that a girl traveled across the country on a mission trip that would extend over the next 3 weeks, until July 27th. She traveled all the way to London, England, Gatwick airport. In the middle of her greatest low in her short Christian life, she felt sad, dirty, unworthy. She felt like a great screw up. How could she even be worthy to be on a trip to share the gospel with anyone. Someone who had messed up so greatly. Someone who just a week prior had really ruined her testimony. Had allowed a non-Christian friendship to escalate to a relationship that went against everything she stood for as a Christian. Standing in the Gatwick airport, with 50 other young people from around the United States and Canada, she most definitely felt unworthy. 


Meanwhile, a small bus drives up, dropping off about 20 other young people who had just traveled France & the Czech Republic for the previous 3 weeks. Loudly singing... and laughing, they joined the 50. The 50. Quiet, new, alone, unsure what to expect, a bit lost. The 20 had been together, had established friendships over the last 3 weeks. So around walks "Mr. Congeniality" introducing himself, shaking hands, finding things in common with the 50, trying to make others feel welcome and warm. 


In the small town of Ashford, England the group begins to minister. From sports clinics, school auditoriums, street ministry, street drama & acting, large evening events with bands, and a gospel message, the 70 minister. One by one, salvation's begin to take place. 


July 13th, 1998. The girl, accompanied by Mr Congeniality walk through the park in Ashford. Rose bushes everywhere, sidewalks, fountains, finely trimmed grass... a perfect picture of an "English Park." Walking to their next event, they talk as they go. Then, there, in the park he stops and hugs her. A simple hug, but one long enough for her to see it. With her eyes closed, she sees a vision.... a large green chalk board, white chalk and The Hand. The Hand simply writes, "This is him. This is your husband, this is the man you are going to marry." 


"How could it be?" she thought. "I have just experienced the greatest low of my spiritual life. I just had the greatest mess up. I am still in the middle of the feelings of unworthiness, disgust. In one hand I held a choice. My God. In the other I held a choice. A Non-Christian Relationship. Though I chose my God, I still messed up so much, messed up my testimony. How could THIS be my husband? How could God be revealing him to me now, at my greatest low?"


The mission trip came and went. She got home and daily prayed, begged, sought the Lord pleading, "Please let this man know he is going to marry me. Please let him know I am his wife." Two years of pleading. Two years of hope deferred making a heart sick. Every day, wondering if he would call, wondering if he would email. Maybe this would be the day. 


Through a series of events, rather amazing events, God revealing to him that this could be the one. His list of 30 plus qualities he wanted in his wife allowed him to check off as each quality was discovered. Athletic, virgin, loves the Lord... and with a few qualities left to find out, she landed in his town for an entire summer. Mission trip #2, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. LT - Leadership Training with Great Commission Ministries. Now, officially dating, officially together. And one evening in the midst of possible physical temptation, the last of the qualities checked off. In a moment of potential "flirting with impurity" or "remaining pure," she began to sing. A beautiful singing voice, the last quality was checked off. She was the one. 


July 13th, 2000..... the scavenger hunt occurs. Unbeknownst to him, 2 years prior, God had most assuredly shown her that he was her husband. July 13th, 2000..... the scavenger hunt for "Lifegroup Leaders" led her on a trip that would end in a garden, roses surrounding it, a fountain trickling....the garden would end with the question she had waited on for 2 years. She had pleaded, cried about, dreamed about. 


As she strode across the garden, she saw a card propped up on a small box. A box just small enough where there had to be a velvet box somewhere. The card went on to say, how special she was. How God had chosen her just for him. It went on to say how much he loved her qualities and her heart for the Lord. She knew through conversation that "I love you" would not be a phrase that would occur in their relationship. The only time "I love you" would occur would be if it was followed by "Will you marry me?" And at the end of the card, for the first time there it was, "I love you. Turn around I have something to ask you."


There he stood. As he walked up, a suit, tie, a smile and a heart that you could see from the outside. His heart was so big. So full of love. As he grabbed her hands, he got down on one knee, "Amy, I love you. Would you be willing to be #2 in my life for the rest of your life? Amy, will you marry me?"


"YES! YES! YES!" 


July 13th. One of the most special days in my life. God told me Tyler was going to be my husband, and a long 2 years of waiting and pleading with God. Crying. The vision did become a reality. That has been 12 years ago that God told me. Fairy tales most certainly do come true! The man I have loved for twelve years just gets better every day. The desire has been fulfilled! 


Single ladies.... he is looking for you! The man that you have always wondered is out there. He is looking for you. You were made to complete each other. You were made just for him. In amidst of your pursuit of God, in your pursuit of the Lord... being obedient to Him, even maybe at your greatest low.... there is where you may find him. He may not even know that he is looking for you.... but he is looking. God will reveal it to him... at the right timing, God will show him. It is your time to pursue God with reckless abandon. To pursue God with fervor! With passion! I remember Tyler asking a question on the mission trip, "What should a girl do to get a guy to notice her?" Answer...."Absolutely nothing. If she is seeking out and pursuing the heart of God, the man who is meant to marry her WILL FIND HER!" She doesn't need to dress to get noticed, flirt to get noticed, pursue the "guy" to get noticed. She needs to do one thing and one thing only, SEEK AFTER THE HEART OF GOD!


More than you could ever imagine, more than you could have ever dreamed is waiting for you. Get your eyes focused on your purpose. On GOD's purpose for you. As you are pursuing that, great things are in store! 


Single guys.... know what you are looking for. Know who YOUR Proverbs 31 woman is. As you pursue God, he will reveal her to you. Be a gentleman. How would you want a young man to treat your daughter? When you find her, treat her with the utmost respect. Do not violate. Do not pervert purity. Treat her like a lady. Treat her like the princess you have always looked to rescue. But first, you must know who she is. You can pray for her before you even meet her. You can pray for her even now. Purity, safety... that she would be developing into this Proverbs 31 wife for you. It could be at her greatest time of struggle, in her greatest moments of temptation, YOUR PRAYERS that save her for you! YOUR PRAYERS that reserve her to be all you have written on your list. YOUR PRAYERS are important. 


Married ladies.... Married men.... Do the same! Is your marriage not turning out the way you thought? Not all you had dreamed? God can restore it too! God can make it into the marriage you had one day dreamed it could be. He can make every day into a day you feel like you have to pinch yourself. A love that just continues to go deeper and deeper. One that gets greater and greater. Where you will fulfill your destiny together, you will create a legacy together. Seek #1 to pursue the NUMBER ONE! Put your God where He belongs, first. If you put God first, above everything else, your spouse will be the most loved and cared for spouse imaginable. Their needs will be met to such a degree that YOU didn't even know you were capable of fulfilling. BECOME that man or woman God is calling you to be. It is there, in the middle of a passionate pursuit, that you will find happiness in EVERY area of your life. 


Fairytales do come true. I am living proof.