#261 - Part 1: Fueling a Marriage That Will LAST!

Proverbs 31:12 - She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.

Proverbs 31:17 - She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm. 

In a recent conversation, my husband was telling me about a minister he was listening to. This minister said, "I love God more than I love my wife. But....... she also loves God more than she loves me!"

It is the key ingredient to a long & successful marriage. How would you respond if I posed the question to you? "Do you love God more than you love your spouse? Your children?"

Why is it so important to love God first? When you love God first and foremost, you will love your spouse how God would want you to love them, even on those days when they may be unbecoming, unattractive, frustrating. When you love God first and foremost, you will find ways to show love to your spouse, to make them feel special, to meet their needs.

THIS IS CRUCIAL! Sure, we can only control our own love for the Lord... we cannot control our spouse, and their commitment and time they spend with the Lord. BUT we can CONTROL ourself! When we LOVE the Lord first, it WILL spill off into all other relationships in our life. His love will overflow into our relationship with our spouse, our co-workers, our children. When we love God first, HE will give us wisdom HOW TO love! Maybe it's loving in a way that we would not have thought of on our own. Maybe, unbeknownst to us, our spouse is really feeling like he/she needs a break. He/she would feel loved just by having a weekend getaway to recoup. Fishing. Chilling. Sleeping. In a mountain cabin. Alone or with you. SO... because we love the LORD first, the Holy Spirit leads us to send them on a little 1, 2, 3 day getaway to refresh (no kids allowed!). Maybe it's something as simple as, our spouse would feel loved by having some of their favorite fresh baked cookies when they get home from a long day at work. Maybe it's the new "technology" piece they were eye-balling at BestBuy, or a new shirt? Maybe it's just walking in the house to a wife with make-up on, her hair done & in clothes other than sweatpants & a T-shirt?

FUELING your marriage is IMPORTANT! You cannot get a return on investment if you do not invest!! That could mean a regular weekly, or monthly date night. A husband/wife retreat to getaway without kids... once or twice a year. It doesn't have to be too fancy, but investing in the babysitter, the lodging, the meals could REAP GREAT DIVIDENDS into a long, healthy and happy marriage!!!

Some days it's about the little things. The little things DO matter. Saving the curly chips for them, because those are their favorites. Pulling the covers up and tucking them in when it's time for bed, because they like their covers tight. Filling up their coffee cup for a refill so they don't have to get out of their comfy seat. Peeling their tomato that you put on their sandwich, because it shows you went the extra step - and it's just how grandma did for them! Loving them. Saying kind words. Not nagging. Serving their favorite foods. Showing love how THEY receive love the best! If you need help in this area, a great book to read and RE-read is, "The Five Love Languages." ----- And friend, let me remind you of the principle of sowing and reaping. When you SOW these good seeds into your spouse, you WILL REAP a harvest in return! Don't fret! If you feel like you are doing all the giving and sowing, continue sowing with a good attitude, GOD SEE'S! Your good deeds will not go unnoticed!

Finally, the Proverbs 31 woman girds herself with spiritual strength. FRIEND, YOU need to be renewed and refreshed! YOU need to have YOUR batteries recharged too. This may mean TAKING SOME THINGS OFF YOUR PLATE, OFF YOUR CALENDAR! Her physical fitness strength gives her the extra energy she needs to keep up, to keep her metabolism high and give her those endorphins (the happy chemical her body makes!)! Her mental strength keeps her sharp, because she invests time into reading books to help her grow mentally versus wasting countless hours watching TV, on Facebook or playing mindless games on her iPhone. She finds ways to STAY SHARP, stay mentally strong, to be an iron-sharpener to her husband.

It's OUR job to get OURSELF right. Let's begin today. What are some ways we can FUEL our marriage today??? I'd love to hear ONE way that YOU fuel your marriage? Feel free to share! :)

xoxo!
Have a blessed day!

#208 - Iron Sharpener!

Proverbs 27:17 - Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend [to show rage or worthy purpose].

Proverbs 31:10-11a - A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman--who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently....

Clanging swords and metal sparking sounds as you see two warriors sparring in and out of the forest trees. Their moves smooth, swift, planned. Until but a second delay and the opponent is found on the wet foliage with his life out of his hands, he has lost today's battle. It was a good thing it was only practice. His friend helps him to his feet, sharpened just a bit more by the consistent training.

As I read today in Proverbs 27, it talked a great deal about friends & enemies but I could not help but be drawn back to the familiar verse in verse seventeen. Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. I believe when couples get married, one thing many long for marriage to be is an eternal friendship. To be able to say we are married to our best friend, who sees us in our good and in our bad. To be married to the friend who can finish our sentence where we left off, or know our thoughts without words coming out. For women, I believe we desire to be married to someone who 'completes' us, obviously without taking the place of the One who ultimately fulfills us. No man or woman can bring fulfillment like having a relationship with our heavenly Father, and when we begin to put that expectation on our spouse, we are often disappointed, but isn't it nice that God designed man & woman to come together and be one?! That ultimately the design was for us to be "iron sharpeners" for each other. 


Reading in Proverbs 31:10, a question was posed in the first sentence. In essence, who is he who can find this virtuous woman? HE. Who is the MAN who can find this amazing, godly & virtuous woman? This woman who does excel all other women? It tells us of her worth, how precious she is, her worth & great value. 


Who is HE who can find her? How can this godly man ultimately find the woman who was made to complete him? I believe verse 11 gives us a clue into how he finds her.... by his heart. As believers today, when we accept the Lord Jesus as our Savior, the Holy Spirit becomes our guide. I believe that this man of god is led & directed. His diligence to the Lord, draws him to this woman who will ultimately be his "one." 


Like many places in Proverbs that talks of hidden treasure and having to search for it, Proverbs 31:10 also bears the same characteristics of value. This woman, this jewel, is like a treasure. Because of her faithfulness to the Lord and his calling on her life, she will be searched out! Her love for the Lord causes her to be that jewel, that treasure. She is far more precious than jewels. In the Hebrew, the word "far" breaks down to: remote, far, distant, distant lands, distant ones.   To "find" is defined as: to find, secure, acquire, to get the thing sought, to be found, to be recognized. The Proverbs 31 man, RECOGNIZES what he is looking for when he finds it. The qualities that he has sought after and searched for are obvious when he finally comes across this virtuous woman. 


And... how appropriate, that until death do they part, they can be iron sharpeners for each other. I know in my own relationship with Tyler, he is most definitely an iron sharpener in my life! He sharpens me by asking me questions, by challenging me. He sharpens me by loving & comforting me when I need it. He sharpens me by the encouragement that he gives me to pursue the unique gifts God has given me. He sharpens me by prodding me to follow the Holy Spirit even when it may not seem to make sense to the world. He sharpens me by spending quality time with me when he knows I need it. He sharpens me by his first love & devotion to the Lord. His continual pursuit of growth sharpens me. 


Tyler McCart is truly my best friend. He is my iron sharpener. For that, I am thankful!


I'd love to hear from you! In what specific ways do you sharpen your spouse? How does your spouse sharpen you? 


___________________


*Picture used with permission. For handmade swords, shields and products of the like, contact Tim at Forged in Time. Their website is informative about the historical background of Medieval weapons and the theme/graphics of the site draw you in to want to learn more!

#76 - We Serve an "I DO" God

Blessings to you this morning. It is raining here in Columbia, SC. But, something about the rain just makes you feel at peace. Something about the rain is relaxing. Whether it be a "nap" day or "project" day... it makes you just want to do things out of the norm. Do you feel like that sometimes? As for me.... I started a FUN new project Saturday night. Daddy was out of town "helping the people" in Orlando, I put the boy to bed and I began. Began painting the room that is OFFICIALLY now Tyler Jr's play room. So much for a sitting room. It is now official. It is HIS ROOM! I painted yellow. 2 walls are yellow, then one wall is going to be red, one wall blue.... on the solid yellow wall I'm going to tape off and paint squares all over. Red, green & blue squares... in different sizes, different places.... no real order or symmetry... just something that looks neat! I have a friend, Amy.... she and her husband Curt are MASTERS at painting rooms to make them look EXTREMELY COOL! So... there it is... the inspiration! :) 


Well, let's start today... remember, if you want to follow along each day during your time in the Word, there is a "Bible Reading Schedule" tab that you can track with me! :)

Proverbs 27:23 - Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and look well to your herds.

Psalm 27:14 - Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord. 

Psalm 57:2 - I will cry to God Most High, Who performs on my behalf and rewards me [Who brings to pass His purposes for me and surely completes them]!  

Psalm 147:10-11 - He delights not in the strength of the horse, nor does He take pleasure in the legs of a man. The Lord takes pleasure in those who reverently and worshipfully fear Him, in those who hope in His mercy and loving-kindness.

Proverbs 31:13 - She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands [to develop it]. 

In a nutshell.... know where your finances are, be diligent. Have faith in a God who will bring to pass His PURPOSE for you, He will COMPLETE it... HE will DO IT. Worship Him. Have faith in HIM over your mere 'works'. And be willing to DO. Be willing to WORK, develop whatever He has called you to do. 

Do you ever have things that come up... you knew in the back of your mind that they were coming... but it came and now took you a little by surprise. You now think... "OK... it's game time." You think, "It's time to put the pedal to the metal. It's time to get busy. It's time to do. It's time to really apply my faith." 

Well, I was reminded of that this morning. Praise the Lord that the WORD has it's way of helping us stay grounded. That the WORD reminds us what the Lord delights in, what HE takes pleasure in and it's not strength in our own abilities. It's not strength in what WE can do on our own, but it's the continual reverent worship & respect for the Lord. A respect. A humility. Humbling ourselves and reminding the God Almighty that we serve, "Yes God, YOU are MY ALL and ALL! YOU are THE ONLY One that I trust, serve and worship. My reliance is fully on You and You alone. Not my own strength, not my own ability, but Lord it is YOU!" That we get in a position, prostrate before the Lord. That we get in a position that says, "You are number one. I worship You. I honor You. I bow before You. I put my trust in You." Honestly, it has been a long time since I have done that. Just gotten on my knees, bowed my face to the ground and reminded God that it is HIM that I worship, it is HIM that I adore. 

Expect the Lord. Have a heart that is STOUT and ENDURING. "Lord, today may my heart be STOUT and ENDURING. Lord, TODAY, I am expecting you to __________________________. I thank You that YOU perform on my behalf! That YOU bring to pass YOUR PURPOSE for ME! That YOU help me live out my calling and that YOU COMPLETE IT! I rely NOT upon myself, but I rely FULLY on YOU! I cast my CALLING on YOU! I cast my talents on you. I cast my gifts on you, I cast ALL my cares upon you. I cast my future on you. I cast my desire to help people on you! And I THANK YOU that in YOUR WORD it says that YOU will complete it! That YOU will complete MY purpose for you. YOU WILL BRING IT TO COMPLETION and I do not have to try to figure it out! Thank You Father!"

This is what HE had to say....

"My desire is to be above everything else. To my children, my desire is to be their #1. When they thank and love me, when they bless me and respect me, it honors me. My desire is to want to do more when they have a thankful heart. When they express their love and gratitude. Bless me with your praise. But praise me not out of your need. Praise me out of your heart, out of your love. All is well. I am not a silent God to those who seek Me, to those I have a relationship with. I am the God that answers. That carries on a conversation. Sure, sometimes you don't need to know the 'how', just have faith that it is done. Have faith in Me, in MY ability to DO. Expect. Have faith. Do not waver, that is wasting your time and energy when your time and energy could be spent on completing your purpose for today. Do not worry. Do not fear. KNOW that I am an "I DO" God. I DO what needs to be done in YOUR life when you faithfully expect it. I DO IT. Have comfort. Take peace. Rest in the fact that it is DONE." 

Take this as YOUR WORD. Praise the LORD that we serve an I DO God! Now... I am going to spend some time and get before MY GOD and love Him! Serve Him and Worship Him. I'm going to get on my face and remind Him that HE is my first love.