Tuesday, June 29, 2010

#25 - "Yes Mam" - "No Sir"

Good morning! It is a beautiful morning here in SC. Enjoying my 2nd cup of coffee.... had my "first breakfast".... or "mini breakfast" already, some applesauce. Will probably have some cereal in a little bit. So, this morning... I'm just reminded of the fact that, "I don't have to figure it out." I was going back and forth with the Holy Spirit on some things, specifically which direction to go, what verses to focus on this morning.... and I partly was feeling a sense of "pressure". Sometimes I don't "feel like" going the direction that the Holy Spirit wants to go. I may think that direction is "boring" or that everyone already knows "that". So, as I was reading and meditating.... I just didn't feel a leading one way... yes I saw many options of how we could go this morning. But I just didn't feel strongly about which way to go. And, it was just a little pressure or the word "manufacturing" comes to mind. I never want to "manufacture" anything, my desire is that each morning, these devotions are Holy Spirit led. So... what did the Holy Spirit say.... can we say "Booo-Yah!" to me! He said, "So Amy, whose are these devotions anyways? Are they yours or Mine?" Yah..... booo-yah! He sure does have a way of letting Himself be known. So yes..... what did I say? (*Tail between legs) "They are Yours." - "Ok then, let me determine the direction. I can promise, My Word is not and will not be boring. I have aligned it specifically for the people who need to hear it. So though the topic may seem like something you have known for a long time, their are people who need to hear it." Alrighty then.... enough said. We are going with the topic of the Holy Spirit not topic from Amy!! And that is the way I like to keep it! 

Proverbs 29:15,17 - The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left undisciplined brings his mother to shame. Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your heart.
Proverbs 31:27a - She looks well to how things go in her household...
Well, you are talking to a girl who grew up getting her fair share of spankings! "Whippin's" as they would say in the south. I guess in the south they also call them "Beatin's". "Girl, did you get a beatin?!" Well, I got some "beatin's" growing up! My parents were not afraid to get out the belt and show me who was boss if I did not behave. I was a very, very stubborn child growing up. I left MANY scars on my sisters.... especially my older sister, Angie. She still has a pretty big one on her leg from me scratching her. She was on the piano, and I wanted to play it.... since she wouldn't get off, I was going to MAKE HER get off! Blood, crying & probably a spanking later..... she did get off the piano, but I'm sure I didn't get to play it. 

Just because we are in the 21st century, does not mean we have to cave to how the "world" handles discipline now adays. Over and over the Bible talks about spanking your child. Aside from the scriptures listed above you can see many places in Proverbs that talks about disciplining your children... Proverbs 19:18 - ...discipline your son while their is still hope. Proverbs 13:24 - He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines diligently and punishes him early. Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it. And the list goes on... rod of discipline, rod of discipline, rod of discipline. So in other words, "Mom, Dad, pull out the belt, get out the spoon, go cut down a switch and SPANK that child!" 

I am not a fan of the "Time-Out" aspect of discipline. It just seems like today's "New-Age" way of disciplining a child... it just seems like the "World's" spin on how to discipline your child. It reminds me of the child that took his/her parents to court. I would guess that child did not get spankings, they probably had "time-outs". For a child to think they have a RIGHT to second guess, or question, or to the extent of taking their mom & dad to court... the parents OBVIOUSLY missed the whole idea of discipline. Who is boss in our house? Dad. Who is next in line? Mom! And you better guaranty that I will not hesitate to give spankings, and they will hurt. 

I remember my mom spanking me.... she felt so bad. The belt left marks on my little booty and on my legs. But I was SUCH a stubborn child. My mom just had to believe, "Lord Jesus, I pray that this stubbornness will be turned for good in Amy's life. I pray that she will be stubborn after You!" Bless her heart! And, when I got saved, my stubbornness did pay off. I'm still stubborn, just in different ways. A godly stubbornness can bring success. And to be a success, you almost HAVE TO be stubborn! 

Well, our Proverbs 31 friend was not afraid to keep her household in line. I can hear her now, "Little Johnny, I told you no once, you know that is not allowed. Go, cut down a switch from the tree out back, you are going to get a whippin." I guaranty she did not threaten little Johnny with a "Time-Out". And, in Proverbs 31:27, it says SHE looks well to how things go in her household. SHE did! If her husband was on a trip, or in the field (aka: at work), it says SHE looked well to how things go in her household. She did not wait for "Dad" to get home to spank  little Johnny. It said SHE managed the runnings of the household. So, if you were bad, you better bet MAMA is putting the smack down! :-) Literally!

I believe, that was one reason why the children could rise up and call their mother blessed (Proverbs 31:28). They respected their mother because she disciplined them. She taught them obedience. She expected well-behaved children, and their was no other option but for the children to BE well-behaved! 

In the South.... that comes directly along with hearing the well-behaved, good children saying, "Yes Mam." "No Mam." "Yes Sir." "No Sir." It is expected. At least for the children where their parents PARENT them. Even in the south, some parents allow TV, DS games, and school to parent and raise their children. But, still a large majority are teaching manners. When I moved to the south, it was so sweet to hear a child say "Yes Mam" to me. I LOVED it! So sweet. So proper. My children will DEFINITELY do that. It's kind of an unfair advantage to my sisters in Indiana. My children will come home for Christmas saying "Yes Mam/Yes Sir" and "No Mam/No Sir" to all the adults and seem very polite. But I realize in the North... that is not how it is done! 

But manners.... it goes along with the responsibility of parenting. Do your children chew with their mouth open at the table? Do they use language that is not acceptable? Do they answer YOU, mom or dad, in a rude manner? If the answer is Yes. It is YOUR responsibility for them to do it properly. No one else is going to teach YOUR kids! Tyler and I have talked about some of the things he plans on teaching Tyler Jr (and Timothy when he comes along) when they are old enough. Tyler plans on having "Daddy-Day-Out" to teach Tyler Junior some important tips on manners. For example.... going to a Chick-Fil-A (my husbands favorite fast food place), and just having Tyler Junior scope out when a lady is coming to the door, going out of the way and saying, "Let me get the door for you mam." Imagine a 5 year old doing that! So cute! But, so proper & respectful! Tyler feels strongly about it because his Granddaddy taught him to do things like that. It is proper, it is respectful and it is right. School will not teach those principles. It is up to the Mom's and Dad's to take time, to plan time, set time aside to discipline when needed and to teach manners. 

The children are part of the "household", in Proverbs 31:27.... so Mom's... see that your "household" is running smoothly. Including your children. It does start with you. Do you respond in kindness? Do you eat with your mouth open at the table? Or do you "chomp" your gum? Do you tell people to "shut up"? It all starts with you. Are you setting the example that you want your kids to follow? They WILL do what you do. Like the old "LIFE" cereal commercial.... the little boy just doing everything his dad was doing. Or... when I was teaching school, I gave a girl a detention for cussing. Later her mom called me upset about the detention... and do you know what the MOM did? She cussed me out on the phone. Well.... I then could not completely blame the student. She learned from her mom. Kids will take on your positive attributes, or they will take on your negative attributes. 

What kind of kids are you raising? Are you purposefully teaching them? In their manners? In their speech? In their actions? In their behavior? 

Moms - YOU see how things are going in your household. Are things going WELL?
DO you have any stories about you? Or about your kids? DO share them! :-) Do you agree? Disagree? Share that too! 


Anonymous said...

I very much agree with everything you say, although I had never looked into the biblical aspects of disciplining a child. I guess I always thought the Bible would tell me not to spank even though I believe that to be the best way to raise a respectful child and teach a healthy fear of authority. Thank you for teaching me this today! :)
We grew up in the south saying our "Yes, Maam's" and "No, Sir's" and by the time our son was 2 they were a part of his vocabulary. Our friends often think we are hard on him about that but we believe this is the first step in his learning respect.

jburton said...

Yes Mam/No Sir...that is they way it is done...Biblically! The Holy Spirit led you correctly. Thanks for your insight!

Renee said...

I AGREE TOO... The timeout method never worked with my kids... and It does keep them in line. I always say.. If I don't find the Godly man for me.. I will create two of them for their wives... :)

Megan said...

Time outs drive me CRAZY!!! I do use spankings with my children. I have torn moments currently when I am doing my "job" (daycare out of my home) I can not discipline another families child. Obviously, I am only allowed to use timeouts. This is so incredibly frustrating! As we work so hard to teach our children something simple like chewing with their mouth shut and another child comes to our home for 1 day and we spend 2 weeks retraining our youngest! Ah!

Thank God for an opportunity to have options and not have to do this forever. However I also see it as a blessing to teach these other children this small, but simple manner.

I will never forget Rylyn, then 4, correcting a father when he came to pick up his son. He walked in and asked his son how his day was or something, son answered and dad said 'oh yeah?'. Rylyn was IMMEDIATELY all over him. "we do not say yeah in our house, you say YES! yeah is a lazy word! Do you want to try again?" lol!! Stan and I were absolutely beaming!! Dad was shocked to say the least but apologized to Rylyn and said YES. Kids are awesome!

Thank you Amy for your continued encouragement! Love you!

Amy J. McCart said...

Hi all! So... there has been a LOT of discussion about this.... especially on my Facebook!! Definitely some difference's of opinion. And let me say this, I appreciate everyone's thoughts, comments, feedback, even difference of opinions. I definitely am not a "controversial" person, or like controversy.... but I will agree that hearing and seeing others points of view is helpful and I WELCOME IT!

Thanks for reading. I hope these posts can challenge you on things you haven't thought of, firm up beliefs you may already have, or it may just let you see (like I have) that someone out their is a Christian, seeking the Lord that may have different thoughts or views.

Thank you to ALL who commented! I can see where time-outs can and probably will have their place.... otherwise you could spend your whole day spanking! (I did have my share of "groundings" growing up!)


Anonymous said...

When I was growing up I would get a severe spanking or slap across my mouth if I ever forgot to say yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, or no ma'am to my parents or to any adult. I require my own children to answer with yes sir, no sir and yes ma'am, no ma'am as well. My oldest two boys are teens and have recently decided to test the waters by answering with "yeah" or yep. I came unglued and set that situation straight right quick. I don't think that either of them will try that again anytime soon.

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